My Answer To Life: OC X Akihiko Sanada P3 Fanfic

Chapter 51

"........ Kiera? "I could feel my own heart shattered into billions of pieces when he called my name. How........ Why? Why is he here? No, this can't be happening! How did he even find me?

Suddenly, I caught sight of the stuff on the table. It can't be........ Jin?! But, why?! He knew exactly how I'll feel about it, so why? Why did he do it? He had already made me miserable, yet I still gave him the chance........ Why does he had to crush that very last hope I have.

"....... Why are you here? "It took a while, but I finally pulled out the words in my mouth. I turned away from him, not wanting to face him again.

Before I could say anything else, my whole body tensed up when I realized that he pounced at me and embraced me tightly. His face was buried into my shoulder, his kneels somehow kneeled on the bed so that he's the same height as I am. What on earth is he doing?! I tried to push him away, but I froze when I noticed that his shoulders are shaking. Voiceless sobs came from my shoulder as the fabric of my shirt is getting wet.

I was........heartbroken. Heartbroken to see him in this state, heartbroken to try to push him further away, heartbroken to be aware that I'm the cause of this. My hands moved on their own, they moved to his back, gently rubbing him, comforting him. I don't want to see him like this, not in life nor death. These days, I thought he was fine without me. But, I guess...... I'm wrong about that one.

I continued to sit there, holding him, letting him cry his heart out. None of us say anything. I took a peek at the clock, it looks like Jin's not coming today. Figures.

"........ Feeling better? "After a good solid hour, he finally got tired of crying yet he's still reluctant to let go of me. He didn't say a single word, he just nods with his face gently brushing through my body during his action.

"......... I'll get you some water. "I whispered to him like a mother calling her child. He didn't let go immediately, yet he did in the end. I sighed, I really don't want him to see me in this state, but I guess I don't have a choice.

I slowly throw my legs off the bed and put on the slippers beside the bed. With a deep breath, I gripped tightly onto the edge of the nightstand to support myself up. My arms trembles at the force I exerted, simply getting up has already been a challenging task. Once I got up, I constantly used the things around me like the wall, table, and chairs to make sure I don't lose my balance in case my legs decided to fail on me. I opened up a box at the corner where I store my supplies and retrieved a bottle of water before handing it to him. He just watched me in silence, his eyes never left me even though I've once again sat back down on the bed.

After that, he just stared at the bottle with his red swollen eyes before opening it and shoved down the whole bottle. Once he's done, he lets out a relaxed sigh, then awkward silence falls upon us.

"......... How much do you know this time? "Finally, I asked, staring at the chair as I rather stare at it than facing him.

"........ November. "I flinched when I heard that. This is going to be a hell of a talk.

"....... How? "I asked.

"....... Shinji. "I turned at him, confused with what he meant by that.

"........ I found another recording in his room. Someone had doctored the one we heard in the command room........ He told me about what November meant to you, what Strega meant to you and........ That someone is hunting you down and he or she may be a part of SEES. "He confessed.

"Jeez, Shinji. That's pretty much everything. "I cursed behind my breath. He promised that he wouldn't tell a soul about it. I sighed, what's the point complaining now.

"........ Kiera, why did you leave? "He asked in a broken voice.

"....... I'm sure you know the reason why. "I bit onto my lips when the coldness suddenly strikes upon me. I did my best to hide my discomfort.

"I want to hear it from you. Just tell me, okay? "He turned to me, staring straight into my eyes with a determined look on his face. That's when I finally got a clear look at him. He looks pale and tired with bags hanging under his eyes, a bit thinner like he hasn't been eating right. I never thought that my disappearance turned him into this.

"......... Because I didn't want anyone to see me in this state. Knowing you guys, you'll take responsibility for things that are not of your concerns. "I stared at both my trembling hands, it felt like every last bit of my life is slipping away from my fingers.

"Kiera, how is this not my concerns?.......... You're shivering. "He grabbed my arm, that's when he noticed that my whole body is shaking. He had worry painted all over his face.

"I'm fine, it happens........ Look, this is my problem and I have been dealing with it for years. Nothing to say, nothing to worry about. "I pulled his hand away from my arm along with cold words, making an attempt to push him away again. He ended up grabbing the hand instead.

"........ That's a lie. You're freezing. "He gripped tightly onto my hand. That's when I realized how warm he is. It feels good, but I can't, I mustn't.

"So what? I just want you to get out of my house. "I swung away from his hand and yelled at him. He seems to be hurt by my words.

"Kiera, you don't have to push me away. It's alright, I won't make you do anything you don't like. You can depend on me, okay? "He reached out his hand to touch me, but I slapped it away. I really don't want to say it, but........ I don't have a choice.

"......... I don't need you here. All you're good at is ruining my plans. Why can't you just understand for once in your life? I have enough just gone away, okay?! "I snapped at him. Please, just go with it. I flinched, he didn't make move, he didn't show me the wounded face that I was expecting, he's hurt, but not the kind I was hoping for.

"She would never stop until she gets what she wants, no matter how wounded she gets. She hides behind that innocent, cheerful and naive mask she puts on, but........ They were just an act to hide her wounds and scars.......... That's what, Shinji told me. So, I won't turn around and leave you........ No matter how many times you push me away. I'm a stubborn hot-headed moron after all. "He forced out a smile. I just stared at him blankly, no longer sure what I'm supposed to do. He didn't really give me a choice. Shinji destroyed every last route I have. I should've known. Finally, I sighed.

"Fine, you win. "I gave up, brushing everything off with a chuckle. He seems to be startled by my sudden change of attitude.

"But, seriously, just go back for now. I need some alone time to sort things out. "I said to him with a soft smile on my face.

"But Kiera....... "He tried to say something, but I cut him off.

"I won't go anywhere, I can't even move to be honest. I won't disappear from here if you come tomorrow. "I reassured him.

"........ Okay. "He sighed as he got up from the bed. He pulled out his phone and dialed someone, but no one picked up. He turned towards me as a result.

"Kiera, where's your phone? "He questioned. Did he dial my phone just now?

"......... Here. "I reached into my pillow and pulled out the phone which was switched off. I didn't want to turn it on as someone can track me down with it.

".......... Call me if something's wrong, okay? "He asked with a forced smile on his face. It's like he's begging. How can I say no?

"Okay. Just rest well. "I said to him as he looks awful.

"You too. "He said before he stepped out of the house. I watched him disappear into the trees, the smile that I forced onto my face finally dropped its act. I hugged myself, body trembling like there's no tomorrow, no longer sure whether it's caused by the coldness I felt or the insecurity within my heart. I hate this feeling, I hate the fact that's he's no longer here, I hate the fact that I pushed him away even though I've longed for him to be by my side. What am I doing to myself? I knew very well how suffocating it is when I'm all alone in here, then why did I do it? I don't want to be alone. Don't leave me........

"Aki.......... Don't leave me......... Please. "I sobbed, finally letting out the words that I've kept hidden.