My Answer To Life: OC X Akihiko Sanada P3 Fanfic

Chapter 53

"......... Okay, how many fingers? "He asked as he showed three of his fingers, he's testing whether my sight had returned or not.

"......... Three. "I answered with that sore throat of mine. It took us a while to calm down my sobs, the dark hour came not long after that. He sighed in relief when I gave him the answer, then he had a smile on his face when he pulled more covers on me, trying to keep me warm.

I love his company, but this is not right. He just gave up a Tartarus exploration because of me. The others need him and he knew it, then why? Why waste his time on me?

"You're thinking about negative things again aren't you? "Suddenly, he pushed my head onto his shoulder, making me lean onto him. I didn't answer him, I didn't want to admit it.

"......... I guess you still don't want to rely on me that much. But, I've made my decision, I'm all yours tonight. "I flinched when I heard that, I quickly pushed him away which startled him. I retreated to the furthest corner on the bed, trying to get as far away from him as possible. Hugging onto my trembling body, desperate to calm myself down.

"Kiera? "He's hurt. I hate it! I hate that look he had on his face. I hate the fact that I'm hurting both him and.......myself. Suddenly, the voices in my head started to play again, making my body tense up. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I covered my ears desperate to block out the voices, yet no one can block the voices that came from within.

You're a curse and a mistake. No one loves you and you'll never love anyone. You pretended for your whole life, no one will accept who you are. All the feelings you have, every smile you put on your face is a lie. You don't love this boy before you. Everything is just an act to satisfy your dream to be normal.

"You're wrong! "I yelled at the voice, squeezing my eyes shut as I curled up into a ball. Shut up, shut up, shut up!

You killed your mother, your sister, and your brother! You don't deserve to be in this world! You betrayed the people who trusted you! You destroyed the only one who actually cared for you! You don't deserve anything, you never own anything. You're nothing but a selfish slut who destroy others for the sake of your false happiness!

"Shut up! "I snapped as I screamed. After that, I flinched when I felt someone grabbed onto my throat and pinned me onto the wall. Its grip was tight and painful......... I can't breathe!

"Kiera! "My eyes shot open when I heard his voice. My vision was blurry and my consciousness is faint, but I still can feel that someone forced my mouth open and made me swallow something. It took a whole second before the hand on my throat disappears, I fell off the bed, coughing as fresh air rushed into my lungs. Suddenly, I feel nauseous. I didn't have time to react before I splat out whatever is coming out from me. It didn't last long, just like spitting out a mouthful of saliva, it came out smoothly within two coughs. After that, I just remained on the floor, gasping for air when my body finally relaxed.

I felt warm hands grabbed onto my body which was covered in cold sweat, they helped me to sit up. I blinked for a while before I finally focused my gaze on his face. He's trying his best to be brave, holding back his tears that's already threatening to fall off his eyes. I was exhausted from whatever just happened just now, yet I wanted answers. What had just happened? My eyes slowly traveled to the spot where I splat out the substance. My whole world stopped when I saw two small puddles of blood, the sense of taste within my mouth seems to come back at that instant. I recognize that taste.......... Blood.

"Kiera, look at me. It's alright. You're going to be alright. "Aki forced me to look away from the puddles, forcing me to look into his eyes, trying to comfort me. Even so, no one can be calm after knowing that they had thrown out blood.

"........ Stop. "The words just came out from my bloody mouth.

"Kiera? "Aki tried to pull me back, yet my whole mind had already started to deteriorate by itself.

"Stop lying about things that I've already know. I'm not, okay. I was never okay. I'm dying and there's no miracle to help me! Why can't I just get this over with?! It hurts........ It hurts everywhere! I had enough! Please! Someone, anyone! Make it stop!........ "I was cut off when he suddenly embraced me and pressed his lips onto mine. My mind just when blank at that very instant. He pulled back not long after that, yet he's not willing to unwrap his arms around me.

"........ I know that I can't end your suffering. I know that I may not be able to share this heavy burden of yours. But......... I don't want to see you like this. My heart hurts, Kiera. It hurts so bad when I saw you hurting like this. I don't want to lose you, I don't want you to die........ But what hurts me the most, is seeing you giving up on yourself. "The tears that he held in for so long was finally set free.

"Aki........ "I held down the urge to hold onto him. No, this isn't right.

"You're always there, Kiera. You're always there for me whenever I needed you. I'm just stupid enough to not see it until now. So......... I really wanted to be there for you, just like how you're always there for me. I'll stop your persona whenever it started a rampage, I'll help you whenever you suffer from the side effects of the drugs, I'll stay by your side whenever you wanted me to.......... Kiera, please........ Just let me help you. "He begged. I started crying again. This is wrong, yet it feels so right. His words, his comfort, his warmth, his love.........is like salvation. A bright light within the dark world of mine, making me cling onto it, not willing to let go again.

I know that I'm a selfish girl, I know what I've said but......... God, if you really do exist........ Forgive me for being selfish this one last time.

"......... Okay. "That word came out soft, like a whisper. Both hands gripped tightly onto the fabric of his red vest, not willing to let go ever again. He moved his hand to the back of my head, pulling me closer as I sobbed in his arms. None of us can tell why we're crying anymore, it's like we're crying together just for the sake of crying. Even within all those tears, we could feel the tiny broken pieces within our hearts are being put back into one.

Our crying section ended along with the dark hour, our sobs had finally eased yet soft hiccups are still heard. It took us a while before we figure out that the floor isn't the best place to take a rest. Aki just swiftly carried me up and laid me down onto the bed, then he cleaned up the blood puddles with a cloth that happens to be hanging in the toilet.

I watched him, fingers brushing onto my own lips when I spotted the bloodstain on his lips. I pushed myself up despite the fact that my body is screaming me not to. After that, I reached into a drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a handkerchief. About the same time, Aki returned back to the bed after cleaning the cloth. I wiped off the blood on his lips once he sat down, he didn't say anything. Once I'm done, he took the handkerchief from my hand and wiped my lips clean before putting it away.

"Come on, it's time for bed. "He patted onto my head with a soft smile. I simply nodded like a child and laid back down, he helped me to do so as I seem to be forcing myself as my hands kept on shaking. After that, I moved closer to the wall to give him spaces to laid down. We're both tired and I don't want him to sleep on the cold freezing floor.

"Aki. "I called him softly when he got into the covers with me.

"Yeah? "He switched his position a bit so that I was laying in between his arms. I snuggled closer and whispered, closing my eyes when the exhaustion finally took over.

"I love you. "

"......... I love you too. "He whispered as he closes his eyes. Our consciousness drifts away as we comfort each other with our presence alone. Nothing could break us apart now.