Nobody Forgets Bill Cipher

A Leader Like That

Dan looks at me seriously, and I know whatever he has to say can't be good. He sighs and looks away. "I shouldn't really be telling you this, but the only reason for that is so we don't hurt our pride."
What is he talking about? He can't seriously mean...
"We've gotten nowhere," Dan states simply with a grimace. "Like, at all."
This has to be a joke. "You can't be serious!" I exclaim in shock, tensing. "Do you know how many people could-"
"Yes! I'm completely aware, Cipher!" he snaps back, hurt in his eyes. "You and your family aren't the only ones in danger, okay? I'm risking my own life for the sake of everyone in this town, including you! I wouldn't puff myself up in my own anger if I were you. Remember, we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you!" He takes a deep breath, then apologizes. "I'm sorry. That may be true, but I'm sure that was the last thing you wanted to hear right now. I don't know what exactly you're going through. I've needed help from others myself before..." he huffs in frustration and buries his face in his hands.
"I don't know if any of you will take me seriously when I say this, but I really am so sorry that everything has come to this," I apologize myself, ashamed that I've not only put my friends in danger, but also kind, innocent people such as Dan and his own family.
Dan looks at me with interest and gives me a small smile. "You know, I know Sil said we weren't doing this job for you and instead for the people of Gravity Falls, but I don't think you're really half bad yourself, Bill Cipher."
"Really?" I figure aloud. "I mean, I kind of assumed that you all didn't like me much because Sil seems like she hates my guts."
This causes Dan to laugh loudly. "No, it's not you. That's just how she is."
     "She freaks me out," I confess with a shiver. "And it takes a lot for a human to freak me out. Seriously, are you okay with her kind of being the leader of you guys?"
     "We work as a team," Dan replies quickly. "Though I guess you're right, she is kind of in charge. Her family has been a part of the group for generations. She knows the most, she is the most experienced, and she's the most... numb." He cringes and looks at the floor.
     "Numb?"
     "Yeah, it's like this: she hasn't known anything else but work with the Society for her entire life. All she's ever done was learn how to by a leader, how to find information, how to never feel fear, anger, sadness, joy, any of that. Those are dangerous emotions to have when you're in the Society." Dan laughs a little, awkward laugh. "Those are all things I feel. I'm less fit than any of those people to be working in the Society. Those feelings I have are why I'm talking with you now, sharing this stuff with you. I felt like I might be able to relate to you. Sil wouldn't even let that cross her mind."
     I ponder for a moment. "That's sad," I conclude simply.
     "Yes, but it's unfortunately necessary to have a leader like that."
     "I suppose so." We sit in silence for a minute until a thought comes to me. "Hey, Dan, Sil told me when we first met that you have secret ways of finding out things. That's how you found out my henchmaniacs we're out to kill me. If you found out that, how can't you find out more?"
     "Even I don't know the answer to that, Bill. My area of specialty in the Society is technology. I created that chain you're wearing. I do stuff like that. I can't even begin to understand how everyone else works."
     "Wait... you mean that even you aren't allowed to know some methods?" I ask, shocked. How can they get anywhere like that? This is so unfair- it's like they aren't even trying!
     "No, no that's not it," Dan stops me, looking me in the eye. "I asked that I wouldn't be subject to knowing."
     "What?!" I shout, outraged. "So you aren't even trying-"
     "Shut up!" Dan yells back, but at a lesser volume. "I did it so that I would be safer, so that my family would be safer. If I literally can't tell anyone how we work, then I'm less likely to put the people I love in danger."
     I huff, though I understand exactly what he's saying. I get it. "Do you..." I begin, finding my words, "find pleasure in being part of the Society of the All-Seeing?"
     He looks at me, brows furrowed. "What?"
     "You heard me," I tell him, crossing my arms. "Answer the question."
     I think I see Dan's lip quiver for a moment, but he quickly collects himself. "No..." he whispers, barely audible. "I hate it."
     "Then that's quite the dilemma you've gotten yourself into," I deduce with a sigh, leaning back in my chair.
     "It's okay," Dan quickly responds. "All I have to do is wait nine more years and then-"
     "No." I stop him in his tracks. "You've lost the passion for what you're working for. You're living in constant fear because of everything you're living for. You're telling yourself it's okay to feel this way because it will be over soon enough, that you can tough it out. How could you possibly give your best work under those circumstances? Don't you realize you could be putting your whole team in danger like that?"
     Dan shakes, but tells me automatically, "You're wrong." He folds his hands in his lap, looking down at them. Two of his fingers fiddle with his wedding band. "You've just given me the little bit of passion I need to pull through for just a little longer. I won't abandon everyone now, not when they need me more than ever. I'll make sure we win against those demons." He looks at me strait-on, a fire behind his eyes.
     "And then," he concludes, "I'll finish my work with them for good."