Nobody Forgets Bill Cipher

Gratefulness And Relief

After my panic attack last evening, I slept for a long time. I'm so emotionally drained from these past few days. I feel like I could stay in my cot forever.
But I know I can't. Yule didn't save me, save all of us to live miserable lives. But I can't help it. Yule was such an amazing person, such an amazing friend, that I don't know if I'll ever get over the loss of him.
How will I go back to school without him? How could I possibly make new friends after this? I got so close to Yule, and because of it, he sacrificed his life for mine.
I sit on my bed and curl up, my head between my knees, trying to control my breathing, trying to take my mind off of everything, trying to convince myself that life is fine, normal. But I know nothing will ever feel normal for me again.
"Bill?!" I nearly fall out of bed at this sudden exclamation
"What on earth-" I begin to say to whoever has disturbed me until I look up, "-OH MY STARS!"
There, in front of me, clear as day, is Yule. Yule Shields.
"YULE!" I shout, so many emotions flowing through me. He is a ghost! Floating in front of me, transparent, only appearing in shades of white and gray, but it's still Yule. He's here. My best friend is here.
I fall to my knees, complete gratefulness and relief flowing through me. I can talk to him, I can tell him everything I never got to. "You're here. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad!" Tears slip from my eye. I look up, and he looks just as shocked as I feel.
"You can see me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Tears begin to fall from his eyes. "Nobody else has. Not even mom, or Tyler!"
"How are you here?" I ask, still in a stupor.
"I don't know!" He exclaims at a complete loss. It's only now that I take a good look at Yule. He's floating a few inches above the floor, and he's wearing the same clothes he died in, yet they're free of stains and tears. He looks normal from the shoulder down, well, at least as normal as a ghost can look. However, his hands and feet appear to float completely detached from his body. No arms, no legs, though his clothes still seem to be filled with those parts.
I want to pull him close to me, to reassure myself that he's actually with me, but as I reach out for him, my hand passes right through his shoulder.
He sniffles as tears fall from his eyes. Can ghosts even cry? Apparently. "Hey, it's okay," I tell him. "It's all okay now. You saved us. We won."
Melody, who's holding Rosanna, Mabel, and Dipper burst in the room, all talking at once. An assortment of 'what's wrong?'s, 'are you okay?'s, and 'we heard yelling's.
Mabel suddenly gasps and cries out in alarm.
Dipper halts in shock and exclaims, "No way!"
Melody, however, ignores all this in her confusion. She walks straight through Yule and takes me by the shoulder. "Tell me what's the matter."
"YULE! Oh my word!" Mabel runs forward to hug him, but falls strait through, grabbing onto Melody before she can fall.
"Yule?" Melody's confusion deepens. "What are you guys taking about?"
Dipper continues standing still, caught in his shock. "You mean... you can't see him?"
"Dipper, you need to rest, I think this whole situation is getting to everyone's head-"
"No, Melody!" I exclaim, watching as Yule takes this all in astonishment. "He's really here! He's just..."
"A ghost!" Mabel fills in. "I can't believe this!"
"It seems that not everybody can see him," I note based on Melody not being able to notice and Yule's statement from just minutes ago about his family. "There must be some kind of connection... Yule, where were you these past few days?"
Yule looks worried beyond belief. "I don't know! I don't know why I just showed up next to a tombstone with my name on it! I don't know why I'm a ghost! I don't know why my family can't see me- I don't know why some of you guys can! I- I-"
I look him straight in the eye. "Hey. It's okay. I'm just so happy you're here now."
Melody looks shocked. "He really is?" We all nod and Melody takes a deep breath. "All right. I believe you. We should tell Stan and Ford, though."
"I wonder if they'll be able to see him..." Dipper ponders, unable to stop staring at Yule's new spectral form. "I'm calling Pacifica, too."
"I'm going to call Merrily," I tell everyone, but mostly Yule.
"What? Are you sure that's a-" he starts, but I cut him off.
"Yes. She's supposed to come over anyway, but I would like to see how everything's working out. Like if she'll be able to see you."
"And if she can't?" he worries, gritting his teeth and brushing up his wispy, gray phantom hair with his fingers.
"Then we won't tell her," I decide. "It will be better if whoever isn't able to see you doesn't know you're like this. It will only make them sadder, more unsettled."
"Well, Ford and Stan and everyone else here can know." Dipper says with a nod. "We are very experienced in the paranormal." He grins at Yule. "Did you know I want to start my own ghost hunting show when I graduate?"
     I feel my chest getting tight again. "You were dead!" I choke out as Yule looks at me with deep concern. "We had to tell your family- your funeral was just a couple days ago!" My voice drops to a whisper. "I felt like I was going to die."
     "No, no," Yule gasps, reaching out to touch my arm. His does not phase through mine, even though I know he can phase through whatever he wants. How else would he have gotten into this room? "I'm so sorry... I was really scared, you know. It hurt... so much. And I meant to stay awake, I really did. But I just couldn't-  you told me to hold on for you and I couldn't. I'm so, so sorry." He grimaces and looks pained.
     "That's not your fault," I assure him. His ethereal form suddenly becomes so much more surreal to me. "You won't disappear, will you?"
     "Remember last summer?" Mabel asks me. "That ghost we made disappear. She could see all of us. And we made her disappear by putting her at peace."
     "Well, she wasn't at peace concerning all of us. Literally anyone would be able to see her. Her problem was that no person ever believed her. And that includes every person she could have imagined, so we were all game to see her."
     "Do you think Yule can see us particularly because he didn't die at peace concerning us?" Dipper asks.
     "That's probably right," Yule purses his lips, thinking. Oh gosh, I missed him so much. "I certainly didn't die at peace concerning Bill. I regretted that I couldn't stay alive long enough when he asked me to. As for Mabel and Dipper..." he thinks some more. "I regretted not being able to get to know you guys more because we had so much life ahead of us, and I still hardly ever saw you both."
     Rosanna coos and reaches out for Yule. With surprise, he puts his hand out for her to try and grab, though she'll just phase through him. "And the baby?" he asks, wondering why she can see him at all.
     "Babies under one and a half years can all see ghosts," Dipper states matter-of-factly. "Everybody knows that."
     Yule smiles and coos back at the baby. "I'm a ghost and I didn't know that."
     Oh, Yule.
     I'm so relieved you're here.