Masters of War

XI.

Problemado ako nang sumilip ako sa unit. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya paaalisin. Not when he's already comfortably laying on my bed. Isa pa, baka magalit siya. Hindi ko pa siya pinapatapos, and it will be selfish of me to suddenly make him leave. Sabi ko, magyoyosi lang ako tapos itutuloy na namin pagkatapos.

Ano'ng gagawin ko? Of course, it's Cronos over this stranger. This is just a one-time thing, anywa. At least with Cronos, pwede ako'ng umasa. Eh, sa lalaking 'to? Mamaya kapag nagising ako, wala na siya sa buhay ko.

You have to leave.

Why?

We have a new roommate coming. Maglilipat daw siya.

Right now?

Yes.

Okay.

I feel bad. Parang ayaw niya pang umalis pero isa-isa niyang pinulot ang mga damit niyang nakakalat sa sahig. Gano'n din ang ginawa ko tapos itinabi ko ang akin dahil nakasuot naman ako ng bathrobe.

We can do this again next ti—

No, it's fine. First and last.

Alright.

See, this is the typical one night stand (minus the sex). One time and that's it, tapos na ang ugnayan namin. Sa totoo lang, I'd like to keep him around. Why? Wala lang. 'Pag bored ako, or 'pag bored siya, we can hookup again.

He's a giver. He's good in foreplay. Sayang din. Pero ayoko naman magmukhang clingy. I wanna to play it cool so I acted that his lowkey rejection didn't mean much.

Here, I'll delete Angelioforos and your number. I didn't save it anyway so you can trust me that all your contact details with me are gone.

I'll delete yours as well. And the app.

Okay. So, that's it, huh?

Yeah...

Nakaupo kaming dalawa sa kama. Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin tapos tumawa ako.

Why?

Are you done smoking?

Yes.

Can I have one last kiss?

I thought you don't like kissing someone who just smoked?

I don't mind. Not tonight.

Hinalikan niya ulit ako. Matagal. Hanggang sa napahiga na naman ako sa kama tapos 'yong kamay niya, nasa tali na ng robe ko. Mukhang hindi pa ako makaalis pero hinayaan ko na siya. Ano ba naman 'yong ilan pang minuto? O isa pang oras? Makakapaghintay naman ang inuman.

You taste like ash.

Sorry. Should I brush my teet—

Hindi na niya ako pinatapos magsalita. Muli na namang lumapat ang mga labi niya sa akin, at sa iba pang parte ng katawan ko. He did not miss a spot and that's how good he is. He knows how to worship a body and I'd gladly do the same for him. Kneel, even.

And that's what he wants me to do so I gave it to him.

Until he finally finished on my chest.

Here. Let me help you.

Thank you.

He cleaned me up after. He was gentle with the way he wiped my chest and he even helped me put my robe back. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya dahil hindi niya naman kailangan gawin 'yon pero ginawa niya pa rin. Ayoko na nga sanang umalis kaso hindi ko rin alam bakit atat na atat akong makita si Cronos kaya hindi na ako nagsalita.

Hindi ko siya pinigilan habang nagbibihis na ulit siya. Hanggang sa pareho na kaming nakatayo sa pinto, wala pa rin akong sinabi.

I'll go now. Thank you. I'm sorry if you weren't able to totally fini—

It's okay.

I'm sure you'll find someone better than me.

Hey, don't worry about it. Ingat ka pauwi.

I will.

Binuksan ko na ang pinto tapos hinalikan niya ang noo ko bago siya umalis. Sinara ko rin naman ang pinto para makapag-ayos na ako pero hindi mawala sa isip ko 'yong forehead kiss. It was a simple gesture, alright. Pero siguro, sobrang tagal ko na kasing kulang sa lambing kaya iba 'yong dating ng ginawa niya sa akin.

Then again, I have to remind myself that he's basically a stranger. This will be the first and last time that we'll be seeing each other.

So, I brushed off my thoughts about him.

I really need to go and see Cronos.