Aki
I was unsure if this was a standard courtship but I was doing what I see from most men these days and adding extra effort like I have seen in past times.
Alexandra seems pleased, and when she receives my gifts or express her appreciation for something I had done, I know she means it.
For me, I have to admit, I feel something... strange. I have felt it in the past few days whenever I would hold Alexandra's hand or we shared a hug or when she kissed me good night or good morning on the cheek.
One night, we lay in their garden staring up at the sky, I decided to finally be honest with her. I needed to keep myself away from her.
"Aki? Are you alright?" Alexandra asked, worriedly.
I nodded. "Yes. I just feel different."
"Different how?"
"I am fond of you, you know this, correct?"
"Yes. Are you... changing your mind about courting me? Ayaw mo na bang ituloy ito?" She asked.
"No, it is not that. But, I feel different. It's something I never felt before."
"Ano bang nararamdaman mo? Are you coming down with something? Pwede ka bang magkasakit?"
"No, no..."
Alexandra huffed, frustrated, "Eh ano nga? Aki, isa pang tanong kokrompalin ko na yang pwet mo."
"Is that a good thing?"
"HINDE."
"Oh."
"Aki," her tone held a warning.
"I am about to tell you, Alexandra, but you will not keep quiet long enough to let me."
That silenced her.
"There is a fluttering in my chest and times when my stomach feels as if it is in knots, but I am sure this human form is fine. And last night when your kiss on my cheek lingered more than usual, my heart beat extraordinarily fast and then I suddenly felt like I wanted to urinate."
Alexandra blushed and gave a small smile. "I don't think that's bad, Apolaki. I feel the same way."
"You do? Do we suffer from the same illness? I have never been ill before so I would not know if I am coming down with anything."
"We're not sick," she said and then snuggled close to me.
"Alexandra, I think we should stop seeing each other. I should go back to where I belong."
"What? Iiwan mo ako?" She asked, abruptly sitting up.
"I do not wish to, but you are in danger. From me."
"Huh? Ano na namang pautot yan, Aki?!"
"No, I do not want to expel a foul smelling fart."
For some reason, she suddenly seemed like she wanted to laugh. Alexandra laughed at the oddest times.
"Bakit mo ako iiwan?! Magpaliwanag ka kung ayaw mong ... kung ayaw mong.... ANG DAYA NAMAN! Wala man lang ako masabing threat!"
I chuckled. Asking for her hand, I kissed it and explained, "Alexandra. This body I have is going through changes I have never experienced before and I fear I might hurt you. I do not wish that."
"Hindi ko pa din maintindihan! Ano ba kasi?"
"Alexandra, forgive me for saying this but I often find myself with an erection after an encounter with you and I am afraid I may do something that will hurt you."
She pulled back and I turned away. I have hurt her by what I said.
"You're... attracted to me?"
I frowned, "When there is attraction, a man gets an erec-"
"STOP. But, well, I think so. Yes, partly. That and all the other things you said you feel."
"But then you must stay away. I might hurt you because of it and I adore you too much to do that. I must protect you. I will depart soonest."
Alexandra moved close again and took my face in her hands. My heart fluttered again. "No, Aki. It's normal for a couple to feel attracted to each other."
"It is? Women get erections, too?"
"Please stop saying that word. It's uncomfortable for me. But... yes, there are things that go on, too." She said, biting her lip and staring at mine.
I was getting an er— oh, she told me to stop saying that word. What do I use then?
"From what I understand, Alexandra, this usually leads to a sexual act. I do not want that."
"WHAT THE HELL? WHY NOT?"
"Why must you shout? And why is hell involved? What do people mean when they say that?" I asked confused.
"Nevermind! Explain to me what you mean when you said you don't want to... to..."
"Do the act?! Of course not! Women do not enjoy it! I have seen many things, I told you. Even when the woman has consented and was doing so with someone they loved, they feel pain. And they scream and they call on Bathala. Why would I subject you to that?!"
I stood up, incensed that she would want me to hurt her.
Again, she was giggling and blushing profusely. She looked at me and said, "Just trust me. It's a good thing in some cases."
"And you would want to do that?"
"With you? Eventually, yes." She nodded, blushing.
I kept myself away because I was feeling...
Well, that.
I lay on the grass again. "Sometimes, human beings are difficult to understand."
"Don't deities have sex?"
"We do. But it takes place when we are in spirit form and we join and swirl in the air. No god invades a goddess' body unless they choose to experience how the humans do it."
"Deity sex sounds boring."
"It does not hurt."
"Boring."
I frowned. "Tama na, Bes. My pants are alright painfully tight."
When I bid her good night, she leaned in and kissed me. "Aki?"
"Yes?"
"Alam mo naman na mahal na kita di ba?"
There's that untimely feeling of wanting to urinate again.
I nodded and smiled.
And then the most magical thing happened. Alexandra leaned in, closed her eyes and kissed me on the lips.
*
"Brother."
"Mayari."
"Bathala has summoned you."
