Gavin
"So, what do we do?" Emma asked.
We were now in my bedroom where Lily was curled in my arms. She woke up while we were still chatting and reminiscing, and walked into the living room rubbing her eyes and dragging her teddy bear. "Daddy? Mommy?"
"Hey," I said quietly picking her up.
"I woke up."
"I can see that," I said, chuckling. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"No. I want more toys in the bed," Lily declared.
Emma spoke up, rubbing our daughter's back. "No, Lily. Didn't I tell you? When it's sleeping time just one toy. You already have your teddy bear."
"The name is Beary-Beary, Mommy!"
"Alright, Beary-Beary. Let's go back to sleep," Emma made a move to carry her.
"No, Mommy. Daddy lang will carry. Heavy na Lily. Mommy's back will hurt," she said and clung to me.
"You taught her that?" Emma looked at me.
"Yes. Remember, your doctor said don't carry her so much na," I reminded. Emma had been experiencing back aches lately because of constantly carrying Lily, who had gotten much heavier in the past few months. After having it checked, she was advised to refrain from carrying Lily first and allow her back to heal, instead of making it worse.
"I miss carrying her already," she pouted.
"I know. But, you have to get better."
"Yes, Mommy. Listen to the Doctor and Daddy." Lily sleepily chimed in. "Daddy, Beary-Beary and Lily want to screep."
While watching Lily sleep, Emma opened up the topic again. "Gavin, what do we do? How do we tell Lily about us?"
"Let's keep it simple. Tell her that our family is different but affirm that we both love her very much. Marami namang katulad natin ng situation. We just need to make her understand. If the time comes and we need help, we'll go to therapy," I said."Lily might accept it at once or maybe it will take awhile. But, I think we'll work it out."
Emma sighed. "Thank you. I know I keep saying this, but I really am glad ikaw yung Daddy ni Lily."
"I know, right? Ang swerte mo. Ang cute pa ni Lily o! Kamukhang kamukha ko."
She glared at me. "Kapal mo talaga. Pero... Gavin, how do we tell Lily naman if we meet people we want to be with? Or eventually want to marry someone?"
I was pensive for a moment. "My request from you would be to keep our initial agreement -- don't introduce anyone to Lily unless we're serious about the person, kasi honestly yun ang hindi ko pa alam how to tell her... but if the time comes that we meet people... I still would go for honesty... I just can't think of how that dialogue would go right now."
They both decided to put off dating for a little while.
When Lily was much younger, it was difficult to even think of seeing other people as most of our time was spent on caring for our young daughter, saving up for things she needs, training and teaching her, and looking out for her general happiness. When she turned three, we had some freedom, but "options" were limited for us both. People still had some hesitations about dating someone already with a child.
Emma had a lot of suitors, but they would disappear when they realized that they won't be her priority and Lily will always be number one. I was on a slightly different boat, being judged that I can't be serious with someone because I have a child out of wedlock.
We both came close once.
But, while the woman I dated was accepting of Lily, she couldn't take Emma's presence. I admit, it was tough for anyone to take that on. However, it was my condition. I wouldn't want Lily put in an awkward position and I could not accept that the woman who carried my child would have to feel like she has to pull back. Neither of them deserved that.
With Emma, the guy was open to having me and Lily around, but we quickly realized that he seemed to keep pushing for me to constantly have time with our daughter, reducing the time Emma spent with us. He also never earned Lily's trust. We found out later he yelled at her one time when she was throwing tantrums and was inconsolable (she came down with a high fever the following day and had been feeling terrible that day).
"Basta ha? Okay lang talaga sa akin na mag-date ka. Hindi kita pinipigilan ha?" Emma assured.
I rolled my eyes. "Oo. Alam ko, pinamimigay mo ako."
"Arte! Eh I date din naman and okay lang sayo."
"Hindi ha. Hindi lang kita para pigilan. Pero hindi okay sa akin."
"Seryoso ka ba?"
"Oo. Ewan ko. Alam ko naman what we are, pero nagseselos ako. Minsan. Minsan lang naman. But I want to see you happy. But, yeah, I get jealous."
She smiled, but didn't say anything more. She kissed my cheek, kissed Lily's forehead then headed to the guest room where she often slept when she spent the night.
