Sari
I rushed to the hospital as soon as I got the details on where he was confined.
He was in a regular room, which I felt was a good sign, and according to his mother, he was sleeping but now conscious. When I arrived, he was seated and trying to take in some soup. "Malik."
He looked up and gave me a weak smile. "Hi, Noks!"
His parents left us to talk.
"Malik, what happened?"
He hesitated. "Promise not to worry ha?"
"I already am, so it's kinda late to promise that."
"Noks... I saw the moment he was stabbed. And it hurt all over."
It was the first time in my life that I did not see mirth in Malik's eyes. "And now?"
"Everything still hurts, Sari, and the doctors can't find what's causing it yet."
I teared up and hugged him but quickly pulled back. "Oh god. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"
He pulled me back in his arms slowly. "No. Please hug me. It feels good." He sighed when we hugged. "You're here. You're here."
"Yes, and you're going to eat this."
"Noks, walang lasa yan eh."
I gave him a stern look. "Mabuti na yung walang lasa kaysa masama yung lasa."
His eyes widened then he laughed. Immediately, he clutched his sides. "Ouch..."
I stayed long enough to feed him, help him wash up and when he slowly drifted off, I kissed his face and whispered, "Aalis lang ako to see Lola Meding and Lolo Tuning ha? Hang in there, Mister Malik. I like having you around and I hope you stay with me longer this time."
*
Taking a few days off, I immediately went to see the elderly couple and told them what was happening to Malik.
"Ano po ba ang dapat namin gawin? Bakit po ganun?"
Lola Meding seemed puzzled as well. "Ang nasabi lang sa amin ay tungkol sa inyong nakaraan."
Lolo Tuning seemed to be conversing with someone I could not see. "Iyong pumaslang sa Datu?" Turning to me, he said, "Hindi matahimik ang kaluluwa niya. Kailangan din niyang maisara ang kwento niya."
"Pero sino siya? At ano bang ginawa ni Malik sa kanya?"
Then, I saw it. The woman who killed the Datu.
The woman I killed.
I was the one who needed to ask for forgiveness. No, not me, this soul in me.
Malik was right. To some extent, this was not fair. He was in pain and I needed to seek forgiveness for something I had not done. But I would do it, if this was the only way to get Malik better. "Gusto ko lang po maintindihan. Bakit si Malik yung nasasaktan kung ako naman po yung may kasalanan?"
Lolo Tuning smiled. "Hindi pa ba malinaw, apo? Ayaw niyang nasasaktan ka kaya't dinasal niyang siya na lamang ang makaramdam ng sakit."
I did not understand much of it. But Lolo Tuning explained that we were all a part of one another and were all connected by an invisible thread. Perhaps what was happening to us was that connection on steriods.
I may not understand it but it had reinforced my bond with Malik and I am grateful. It was a complicated and amazing thread that resulted in our lives unfolding right beside each other. And, as confused as I was at this point, I accepted it. Maybe one day I'd understand, maybe I won't. What we have was still pretty fantastic.
