Arra
"Kelan ka huling nag-boyfriend?"
I almost choked on my food. "Ano?" I stared at Pong, wondering what he was thinking with this line of questioning.
"Wala naman. Galing ka sa date. I know you've been on dates but I don't recall the last time I saw you with someone."
I thought about it. He was correct. It had been awhile since I was in a relationship. "Fair enough. For a long time kasi... I don't know... A couple of bad break ups, bad dates... I just started to feel a lot better being by myself."
"So why are you dating now?"
"I realized I do want to be with someone? But if wala, okay din naman ako with myself. It's just... I want to try again."
Pong was quiet for a bit, then he said, "Arra? I hope... I hope your initial hesitation about being with someone wasn't because of what I did."
So there it is.
It was so long ago that I had to take a second to remember how it started. I recall that I had been working for a few years, Pong was abroad for that long, and I was still with James.
I was young and ambitious and I was sure that I wanted to be a manager at our consultancy firm within 5 years. So, I worked and worked and worked. I thought James understood.
Imagine my surprise when in one of my presentations, I saw my boyfriend with an arm around another woman at the coffee shop in the building of a client I was assigned to that day.
I was devastated. It was my first heartbreak because I didn't really count my time with that guy who was drinking even if he was underaged.
I kept myself busy with work but every moment that was not filled with work I would end up crying. When I was offered a stint abroad, I took it.
"Anak! Are you sure? You'll be alone there," my mom worried.
"It's just for a few months, Mommy. Besides di ba Pong is there?"
Singapore. Pong's first international assignment.
He met me at the airport and gave me a big hug as soon as he saw me. "R!!!!" He stepped back and looked at me. I immediately knew that he knows about the breakup (probably because of our moms). "You alright?"
I took a deep breath. "I just need a break."
"Alright." Pong took my bags and loaded it in the waiting taxi. He helped me settle into my apartment for the period and just before he left, he told me, "Call me for anything. Okay?"
"I will."
"Dinner tayo tomorrow?"
"Sure."
After asking my work arrangements the following day, he made a move to go. At the door, he bid me good night, then turned back. "It will be alright, you know?"
I nodded.
"I'm here, okay?"
I almost broke down then. Pong wiped my tears and said, "Huy. Don't cry."
"Anong don't cry? May drama comment ka tapos don't cry? Lokohan ba'to?"
He chuckled. "Sige hindi na. Wag ka na umiyak. Kakalat yang makeup mo o."
Pong was so sweet that time. He checked on me until he was sure I knew my way around.
He called to make sure I ate, that I wasn't home sick. He called to check if we could meet up so he could hear about my day.
Maybe because I was vulnerable and away from home, but halfway through my time abroad, I knew I had fallen for Pong.
That revelation made one of our dinners awkward and I kept fidgeting in my seat. "You okay?"
"Yes."
"Ayaw mo nung food? We can order something else naman."
It was like that the whole night and when he brought me home, he was annoyed. "Okay, what is it? Kanina ka pa hindi mapakali."
I was desperate and that night I thought, take a chance. But he was on his way out the door, "Call me tomorrow when you're in a better mood."
"Pong, wait."
"What?"
"I -"
"Hay nako, Ar -"
I cut him off with a kiss.
We pulled back quickly. It should have been awkward but I felt sparks and before I could say anything, he had pulled me back and we made out for the rest of the night.
It remains to be one of the best kisses I ever had.
Except that the next day, he looked awful and seemed to regret it.
"Arra, that can't happen again."
"But, I... why?"
"We're friends, that's it."
I made a face. "Sinong niloloko mo? I felt that kiss."
"Arra... just... stop."
"Are you seeing someone?" My heart stopped for a second.
"No."
Thank god. "So what's wrong?!"
"I don't want this, Arra."
Yep. He rejected me just like that.
For the second time that year, I had my heart broken again and for reasons I could not yet figure out then, this seemed to hurt more.
