Him ; Bastille

Guessing Game ; 18

1 Month Later — Halloween

Ever since one of the guys told me about Kitty having a 'childhood cancer' I've decided to do some investigating. I mean...if it's only a rumour then...I don't want to bring it to her attention. That's a sick think to be spreading about a person, and that's why I want to investigate and shut them down before it leaks to the wrong group of people. But on the other hand it makes sense.

Then again Kitty has her own pill drawer, what other 22 year old has that? From as far as I can tell she doesn't have anything mentally wrong with her. I wouldn't give a shit if she did. I also reckon that she definitely isn't depressed. I mean of course I don't know that for sure...but Kitty is such a happy person — she seems like the total opposite of depression.

But saying that I've...been noticing changes in her.

The changes are only noticeable if I do the math. I have to put the changes in a row or whatever to know that she isn't okay. Lately Kitty has been having a hard time trying to get her work done. It's leave her with an empty Microsoft Word document last thing at night...and the first thing I see on the kitchen counter is that same one. Literally nothing on it. She also has been mildly complaining about headaches and 'needing to lay down for a bit'. I just thought that's stress of uni — because that's how I get sometimes — especially with the exam season approaching pretty fast.

Other than that she has not stopped wearing jumpers and jackets. Even when the apartment is totally roasting...she's always wrapped up. At first I thought she got a cold since it's that time of year again...flu season. The dreaded autumn to the summer freaks. But after that Kitty rarely moves. I mean of course she does but...she looks tired and ill...really weak. Somedays I have to give her food in bed...she never eats it...well she does but not a lot. Only a few bites here and there. It can't be my cooking because back at home I used to cook for my family and they never once complained.

Maybe she is depressed after all? Or maybe she is ill...but childhood cancer...childhood...thanks the word that throws me off. Kitty clearly isn't in her childhood anymore. I'm hoping that because it left her immune system a bit weak she has trouble fighting colds like someone who doesn't have that ghastly c-word? I'm hoping that it's the latter. Just a stupid harmless cold.

Somedays she's talkative and doing more or less everything then other days she is like a ghost of her former self. It's weird.

I'm worried about her.

"Back!" I shout as soon as I open the door. Shouting 'back' at the top of our lungs is like the friend zoned version of 'honey I'm home'. I laugh to myself at how stupid that must sound. I mean...normally I don't need to say that since we go to and come home together from work everyday. But within the past month that's rarely been happening, not rarely...that might be a a tiny bit melodramatic, but there'a more than a few times I've been solo.

It feels weird. Kitty normally is banging on about the music charts or the latest film news. I don't mind either of those things...I think that's why we always have something to talk about despite living and being together for 24/7.

"Boo!" Kitty laughs. She literally jumps from around the corner in a Scream mask (out of all masks). I jump out of my skin and slum myself against the door. I was not expecting that. Kitty then holds the side of her stomach and laughs slightly, she too also shares habit of slightly leaning forwards in hysterics. Of course she does it much better than I do.

"Glad to see someone is feeling better" I've been hinting to her that I know she's poorly, every time I do so she gives me evils and reassured me I'm fine. Even if she does look like death warmed up. "Shut up." She hisses before changing her frown into a smile, the mischievous kind...I wonder what she's up to now? "Kitty..." I playfully say as my voice trails off on the 'y' part.

Kitty cracks a smile before anxiously looking away. "Come on...spill the beans..." god we must look like two idiots right now. The cheesy grins and the cliché heart shaped eyes...me being a twat and not telling her that I love her...pathetic.

"Okay-okay." Kitty holds her hands out like she is about to tell a story. "So I have always wanted to start a tradition. But since I'm on my own that tradition I want to start would seem depressing because I would be alone..." fuck off is Kitty ever going to be alone again. "And?" I ask knowing that whatever she's going to suggest I'll say yes. "Well since I have you...you know what I mean — like here...with me. Maybe you can help out that tradition to make me look less like a 'knob' as you would say." I love how she remembers my British saying and interprets them into American sentences. Both of as laugh once again, inches away from each other's bodies...but of course there's an invisible wall in our way.

"I'm just going to get straight to the point and say...do you want to start a tradition of going to the cinema and watching a horror film with me on Halloween night?" I laugh when she cringes. It's adorable that she thinks there's a chance I'll say no.

I'd never say no to her.

I crack a smile, "depends on what the film is." With that she smiles, a relieved kind of smile like she knows I'll go with her without me really saying or doing anything. "I'm not sure...we'll see when we get there, right?" With that I take her hand as she snatched the card off of me and put it in the door before opening it.

I haven't seen her this energetic in days.