Red Hood and Harley

Time Passes

Harley is miserable, she hated being pregnant the last two times and this is no different. Joker has lost at least 5 men this week to her temperamental hormones. Jester has taken to sleeping at Giggles and avoid his mother all together. Joker has tried to pay the girls in the club to keep Harley occupied but after she removed one's eyes for staring 'too long' at her stomach and making her feel like 'a fat art exhibit' nobody wanted to play with her. 8 months down, one to go and Joker isn't sure she won't be dead after their daughter is born.

"Puddin!! I want some ice cream, but not the store bought! I want Dairy Queen!!" Harley grumbled from the bed next to him. The time? 3am.

Joker sat up, "Harley it is 3am, there is no open Dairy Queen pooh." he spoke gently. Clown prince of crime, psychopathic murderer.... scared of this pregnant 5ft tall blonde. The other villians would love this.

Harley's eyes moved from the TV to his face, "I need it puddin. I need an blizzard NOW. Althea is very demanding." She whined.

Joker called Jester, as he answered with loud ruckus in the background "no she cannot come here." Was the young man's hello. "No, no Jes, your mother wants a blizzard from Dairy Queen. Figure it out and I'll make sure your GTR is upgraded to something more fitting a crime boss kiddo." Joker was tired and willing to pay whatever to simply shut Harley up. Jester muttered an agreement and hung up on Joker.

20 mins later there is banging through the front door and Ace announcing "what in the fuck did you do lil J?" Matched with Frost's laughter and Jester's grumblings. Joker and Harley placed robes on and hurried downstairs expecting a body or a Bat clansmen. What they didn't expect was Jester and Roco with half a Dairy Queen setup.

Harley's eyes grew wide and a smile took over her face as she squealed in delight, "I have the best kid on the planet!!"

Joker roared in laughter and had to ask, "why the entire setup my boy?"

Jester glared at his father and replied, "Ya didn't tell me what Ma wanted and I wasn't breaking in to, two fucking Dairy Queens so I made Roco bring the truck and now she has her own fucking blizzard machine, complete with mix and candies to put in it. Now if you don't mind, I had a gorgeous red head who seemed very interested in my personal needs I would like to return to?"

Harley was showing Roco where to sit up the machine and Joker, Ace and Frost all laughed hysterically as the angry teenager stormed out back to his club shouting "Fuck you guys! I love ya Ma, goodnight!"

Harley absently blew kisses and waved "love ya baby! You're the best!" As she demanded Roco to figure out how to make a reeses blizzard.

Jason watched from the rooftop as Jester and Roco carried in stolen equipment from Dairy Queen, he knew he should've busted them but he also remembered Harley's sweet tooth gets out of control when shes pregnant. A crime boss who runs a club, guns and drugs doesn't normally personally steal ice cream machines and candy.... unless you're Harley.

Jason hadn't been coming as often but the twins 2nd birthdays were coming up and he missed his loony tunes like crazy. He wanted Joker's head but every since his return from the dead he was always with Harley and Jester was running his businesses.

Ivy walked up and sat with him, "Ya know its strange this time, she hasn't called me since she left the manor. Hasn't stopped by or so much as sent an emoji. Thats not my Harley, this shock treatment I think he really fried her good. I don't think she remembers anyone but them." She rested her hand on his shoulder, "she loves Jes, she loves the twins, she loves you. She became a better person for each of you. She doesn't love Joker, she told me she never knew real love until you. However, I don't think Joker ever felt even a pinch of love until Harley...."

Ivy sighed as Jason stared down at the club in silence. "Killing him won't bring her back, she may go further into the rabbit hole. She has to want to leave and while hes treating her like a princess she's not going to. You have to find a way to make her remember why she hates him."

Jason stood up and walked away "I know this, that is the ONLY reason hes still breathing and shes not locked in the manor with doctors." He handed Ivy a photo of the twins, "give this to Jes, he can give it to Harley." He dropped down the side of the building before Ivy could respond.

Ivy walked in the back door of Giggles a week later and into Jester's private booth and right into Harley and Jester having a heated arguement, no Joker in sight.

"Ma, he's gonna fuckin kill ya! Let me do this! It will look like an accident. I got the fuckin venom. Look at what he did to you!?!" Ivy walked into view to see a very pregnant Harley with a very black pair of black eyes and and black and blue hand prints on her upper arms.

"Jester, its yer FATHER and incase you forgot your soon to be here's sister's father as well! You wanted a fuckin daddy and here he is kiddo!"

Jester looked a spitting image of Joker as he drew his hand  to backhand his mother when a vine tied his arm to his waist,

"Listen here child, your father has done enough to Harley I will be damned if you will raise a finger to her. This wreck is partially your fault." Ivy spoke in her sultry voice. "Harls, darling that clown is no father. You know this, don't you want to go home to your twins? To Jason?"

Harley had a look of guilt, "yes... since the giggles wore off.... but  thats why I look like this and Mistah J threatened them. I also don't think Jester should kill his fuckin dad."

Ivy looked at Harley with sympathy and than to Jester, "Ok, so what is his plan, maybe you can do it again?"

Harley's face turned red in embarrassment, "um, that's not gonna happen..." she muttered.

Jester's face turned purple in rage as he grabbed his mother's arms, "Look Aunt Ivy, HE FUCKIN HANDCUFFS HER AT BEDTIME!?! Ma, ya don't have a choice I'm fuckin killin him. I gotta enough venom to end him." He yelled at them both as he showed Ivy Harley's severely bruised wrists.

Ivy's skin darkened, "Venom won't kill Joker boy, he's been immuned to his own juice for years. Same as Harley, they've used that crap for years. What about Frost?"

Harley laughed, "Yes his most loyal right hand man??" Ivy smirked, "oh but I have my own toxins... and this time hes going to be fucking "puddin" litterally." Jester gulped, "You can really make Frosty kill him?"

Ivy smiled, "Sort of... he will help bring him where I want him. Here's my idea...."

After Ivy explained her idea for Joker's death Harley had a sad smile on her face and Jester looked excited.

"Oh Aunt Ivy, yer wicked as they come. No wondah ma loves ya." The more excited the boy became the thicker his accent became.

Ivy laughed, "Jester, not a word to anyone. I don't care who you think you can trust. These are Joker's henchmen. There are 4 people who will know. Well... 5 but he won't realize what he did until its over. Now Harley, go home..... send Frost here, tell him Jester is having trouble with business. Nothing Joker will want to handle but something Frost will come for. You'll get my text when its time. Jester, I will be in the back until Frost gets here. Make sure hes only on here with you."

Harley and Jester nodded and in unison said "Gotcha Red!!"

Ivy notably cringed and hugged Harley, "You will be home tonight darling."