Red Hood and Harley

Time Warped

"Ma ya said J and I could to get our L's today! Ya PROMISED!" A squeaky jersey accent woke Jason and Harley up at 7am sharp. Both had only been asleep 3 hours after coming home from busting up a child trafficking ring (nobody but the kids and one who was willing to snitch to the cops was left alive). After showers and some snuggles it felt like they had just laid down.

Harley groaned and shoved Jason, "can't you do it? I don't wanna."

A younger thick female accent pitched in, "Come on ma, I wanna go get my permit!"

Jason lifted his head and peered his deep green eyes at the blonde sprawled half on him, "No no come on we will both go, take two cars and get done faster?"

Harley nodded and rolled to her back and kicked her feet like a child, "FINE" she shouted as their door opened and 3 teenagers bum rushed the bed with shouts and jumped in with their parents and laughter. After several tickles, giggles and threats the kids got out of bed and went downstairs to see what Alfred had made. Harley threw sweatpants and a hoodie on after brushing her teeth and putting her hair back into her signature pigtails. Jason did the same and a Gotham Knights fitted.

They stumbled downstairs to be greeted by the three kids, Helena, Bruce and Selina.

"I can't believe you're up Bruce!"Jason acknowledged.

Bruce smiled softly, "Well, you know I'm used to not sleeping. Even with Damien and J going out instead of me I'm still in the cave all night."

J gasped, "Wait so if I get my L today can I drive the Batmobile!?!?"

Damien's voice popped up as he entered, "Yeah no way kid! I'll give you Dick's old motorcycle if you can pass the test."

Harley gave a cheeky grin, "Is this where I'm supposed to say hell no?" Jason smirked, "Oh yeah, the how unsafe it is lecture?" Harley's eyes sparkled with mischief, "Exactly."

J looked horrified, "You both ride every night!?" His parents unable to keep straight faces collapsed in laughter against each other.

Jason grew serious, "You can have it, however first time I catch you without a helmet I will take it to Bludhaven, understand?" J nodded, "I promise!" Lucy pouted, "What about me?" Harley grinned, "Get the license first."

Althea looked at her mom and pouted, "Awe no fair they're getting cars!"

The main entrance opened and shut as she pouted and Jesse's voice filled the room, "Awe kid sister I knew ya'd be feeling left out, well I brought ya a special present, since you're getting your school permit it's only fitting you have a car to drive to school!" Jesse threw keys at the green haired girl with a grin and a cackle.

Althea caught them and ran outside with a squeal as the rest came out to see her new car, Harley instantly glared at her son, this was not just a car it was his father's customized Infiniti G35. Althea was already inside admiring the glow of soft purple lighting against the white leather interior. "Oh my God, everyone in school is gonna die of jealousy! Ma do ya see this!"

She bounced up and down in the driver's seat with bubbly energy. Harley gave a strained smile, "Yea baby girl, your brother is just swell. Hey Jester follow me now please."

Jesse turned a shade whiter than normal and followed his sulking mother. Once they were out of ear shot Harley let lose, "What the fuck were ya thinking? Giving her Joker's car?? She already has his green hair with Harley Quinn as her momma. Now she's driving around like a pigtailed version of him?"

Jesse looked sheepish, "I was thinking I learned to drive in it, she should. Look, I love J and Lucy and I know Jason loves her as his own but I feel bad, we're lying to her. She never met the bastard. She's gonna figure it out ma, she's already asked how she's got green hair like me but I have a different dad and our mom don't have green hair. She's not stupid. One day she's gonna figure it out and people hate us all."