Mute
I sit alone at lunch. I slowly devour my turkey sandwich. No one really seems to like turkey that much. It’s dry and tasteless. It’s like eating crackers and water. But I still bring a turkey sandwich to lunch every day. Maybe if I had some friends, they’d take me out to eat like most of the other 10th graders do. But since I have no friends, I sit alone and eat my dry sandwich. Eventually, I finish and toss it in the nearest garbage. I get up to get some water from the fountain. I take a long sip of water and go back to my table of solitude. I decide to just walk around the school until lunch ends. I stand up and trudge out of the cafeteria. I shuffle down random hallways watching other high schoolers chatting in their groups of friends. Part of me envies them but for the most part, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the drama of having friends. I do have friends but they’re all online.
I notice a boy named John walking down the hallway holding hands with two girls. I roll my eyes wondering why those girls bother with him. He probably doesn’t even like them. My stomach starts to churn. I keep walking slowly and end up in the middle school. I see two boys running down the hallway laughing loudly. I scowl at them. They are probably supposed to be in class. My stomach twists again. I wonder if I’d eaten bad turkey or something. I start walking towards the boys’ room. I wander into the bathroom and lock myself in the stall. My stomach growls and churns some more. I lean over and throw up my turkey sandwich in the toilet. I heard that other kids had been throwing up a lot for no reason. Some theorized it had something to do with the water in the fountain. For a moment, I look at my regurgitated sandwich and debate going to the nurse. I flush the toilet watching my vomit swirl around. For a second, I sulk in my own self-pity wondering if anyone heard me vomit. Maybe they’ll think I’m a bulimic boy. People talk and gossip but nothing matters once you leave high school. So why spend your days failing your classes because you’ll be risked getting called a nerd?
I slowly walk in the direction of the nurse. If I go home sick, I’ll miss my math test. I studied hard last night and I really just want to get it over with before I start forgetting the material. For another moment I linger in the doorway of the nurse’s office. I look inside to see a small group of kids. Some kids have dark circles under their eyes and a pale face. Some kids look pretty sad and anxious. They look sweaty but for some reason refuse to remove their jackets and sweatshirts. They have bleary red eyes and tangled hair. Then of course, there are a bunch of wild boys talking loudly about how if they don’t go home now they’ll fail the math test. So typical. I look at the tall, intimidating nurse. He’s only a little taller than me but that’s pretty tall. I leave the nurse and go back to the lunch room to sit alone.
