Jenny
I should’ve figured Nick would betray Super Six. I shouldn’t phrase it like that. His little sister was being held at gunpoint. I can’t be mad. But now, inevitably, Judgment Day has come. It’s when I’m wrestling Hunter that Krys says something that gets me thinking. “Hey guys,” she begins. There’s a moment of hesitation before she continues. She’s nervous. “What’s gonna happen to us?” she asks quietly. Hunter looks at me for an answer. “We may die but we may live.” I say carefully. I don’t want to sugarcoat this but I don’t want to crush our spirits. “This sucks!” Hunter shouts. “Sometimes I hate this life. I hate risking my life and losing people close to me.” His eyes water. I know Katy’s on his mind. Honestly she still hasn’t left mine. “That’s true. But when I was talking to Matt once, I had this epiphany,” Krys begins. “There’s this pretty awesome quote by some pretty awesome guy: “We shape our situations and our situations shape us”. My eyes widen. I smile a little. I like the way that sounds.
Drew agrees to walk me home when Le Café closes early. We have a little heart-to-heart during our walk. “So . . . uh . . . you nervous?” he asks awkwardly. “Yep.” I say bluntly. “Yeah . . . so how are your arms? Am I gonna regret asking?” he asks eyeing the many bracelets up my right arm. “Oh. I’m trying to stop.” I explain softly. “Trying to stop” is a sugar-coated way of saying I’m like two days clean. I guess that’s better than nothing. But I’ve considered dragging that blade from within my pencil sharpener against my skin just one more time. Drew nods slowly. His hand brushes against mine. Our fingers intertwine. I smile and blush. Is this the last time I’ll hold his hand? I feel Drew’s voice flutter by my ear. “Everything will be okay.” He breathes. I bite my lip and think. I’d love to believe that everything will work out. But is it true? I’m gonna fight two murderers that are bigger, stronger and older. And more importantly they don’t have silly little distractions like a depression to get in their way.
I walk Drew to his door. We stand there for a moment. I wonder if his parents are watching us. I don’t want to stand here too long. I stand on my tip-toes and kiss his cheek. He smiles and blushes. He takes my hand and kisses it. I giggle. I like it when he does little things like that. “Bye,” He says sadly. I blush and look up at him. His voice is cracking. He’s as nervous as fudge and it shows. I am too. Instead of going straight home, I decide to seek refuge in the school. So what if the doors are locked? That’s why we’ve invented windows. Windows that some teachers think are good to leave open when the weather gets warm on the weekend. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m pretty short and just barely skinny enough. So I slip in through the window of a random classroom. I can hide here.
As I walk down the empty hallways I make a mental note of irony that the same place I’ve been bullied by mean girls and the same place my cuts have been exposed to Nick, is the same place I’ve come to for protection. Krys’s quote still rings clear in my head. Has Super Six changed me? Or shaped me? I start heading to find a place where I can hide when I hear footsteps. Unlike my footsteps that are soft and nimble it sounds like this person is stomping their feet and dragging their shoes across the floor to get my attention. I dash down the hallways, going to the sound of footsteps. Who would come to the school on a Saturday? All the doors are locked unless of course you can teleport. Are Rob and Scotch here? I freeze in my tracks. I don’t want to see those jerks. They’ll probably just trap me and taunt me about being a “shrimp” while I can’t fight. And still, I creep through dark hallways. I’m eventually led to the Vacant Hallway. I quietly step down the stairs when Nick comes into my view. I slowly start going back upstairs when Nick whirls around. He sees me.
“Don’t try to run bitch.” Nick growls. I start sprinting up the stairs but I feel him grab me and pull me back down. I fall to the floor. I quickly spring back up and run to the other end of the hallway. I transform while I’m running. My only pathetic escape attempt is the red door at the other end of the hallway. I still run to it as fast as I can. Nick pulls me away from the door and pushes me to the ground. He doesn’t hesitate. He pins my shoulders to the ground with his knees. He pulls out his knife and holds it up like he’s about to bring it down and stab me. “Stop!” I yelp quickly. I just need to stall him long enough to talk him out of this. “Please.” I beg. He lowers his knife so it’s against my neck. “You know I can’t kid.” He replies sadly. I’m not a kid. “But . . . I don’t want to die.” Tears fill my eyes.
So maybe a million years ago if I was in this position I’d tell him to go for it. But now I’m too attached to life. I’m gonna stop cutting if life gives me the chance. I’m going to speak my feelings if that’s what the world wants me to do. I like my life. I like my friends. I like Super Six. I like being who I am whether I’m a deep girl who thinks sad thoughts or a giddy kid who likes sugar highs and fun. But I don’t want it to end now. So I guess the answer to my question is yes. Super Six has definitely shaped me. I like the shape it’s made me too. I know Nick will regret this. He did murder those kids at that school shooting but I’m different. He actually knows me and I know him. He can’t end me now. “I’m sorry Jenny.” He whispers. He’s crying now too. He starts pushing the blade down. Tears pour down the sides of my head. Nick’s tears land on my forehead. I can’t feel anything; I just close my eyes and accept my fate. I’ll be a martyr maybe. I’m gonna die but at least Nick and Lilly will live. I hope. I’m the infected branch that needs to die so Nick and Lilly can survive. I hear another voice that isn’t mine or Nick’s. I think it may be Mute’s. “STOP!”