HIM // wolfstar

4 when he talked to me

He's the one.

I didn't see him all of Wednesday. It could be because we just didn't share any classes, but I had a feeling it was something else. His expression the day I confronted him still haunted me. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so stupid. I should make him feel good, not bad.

The entire event had taught me something about him; there was a whole other reason he didn't want any friends. It's not, as he told me because he doesn't want any friends. The way he panicked when I said his name convinced me there had to be more to it.

Sirius Black surely is a man of mysteries.

I expected to look for him Thursday as well, but I didn't have to. Right after I entered school, he confronted me and asked me to follow him. James raised his eyebrow suggestively, while Peter blew a kiss at me behind Sirius' back.

I followed him into an empty room.

"How many people have you told?!" Sirius' voice was dangerously chill. He closed the door just a tad too harshly. Sirius had his arms crossed and he looked mad. At me. He looked at me, and he was mad.

"No one," I answered truthfully. He looked doubtful.

"No one?" he repeated. I nodded. Sirius looked down and seemed to think. I don't think he expected that I hadn't told anyone. Why did he think I meant to harm him? "What do you want?" he asked carefully, quietly.

I answered just as careful. "I want to be your friend" I tried smiling, but it felt forced. Besides, he didn't look at me; the floor seemed to have taken his interest.

It looked like he frowned, "I already told you I'm not interested in getting friends."

"I can't imagine why. Friends are the best."

Sirius didn't answer.

A painful silence fell upon us. Why was he so reluctant about making friends? Maybe he had been bullied at his old school. Could it be me? Was I too forward? I don't think so, people have always described me as shy,

I tried to read his face, it was hard seeing as he still stared at the floor.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't do what I did. I won't tell anyone," I said. I wanted to get a reaction out of him, but I also wanted to make sure he knew. I'll just have to show I can be a good friend. My plan had been a failure so far, but this was still the most he had ever spoken to me.

He hesitated. "Promise?" Sirius surely isn't a man of many words. But that's okay.

"Promise," I repeated. I had expected at least the tiniest of reaction, but he simply walked out of the door. It was my fault really. I had put too much pressure on him. Also, I shouldn't have expected him to talk; he never does that.

.:lll:.

"And then he just walked out?" Peter asked confused, I had told them all about what had happened between Sirius and I. Without mentioning his name, of course.

"Yeah, I don't know what I should do, I've never met anyone more closed off than him. I'm not even that shy."

"So he's a closed book, but that's not gonna stop you, right?" James asked. He isn't the kind of guy who doesn't give up when the going gets tough and takes great pride in helping us quit being quitters.

We went to the cafeteria. Sirius was like all the other days, nowhere to be seen.

"Of course not," I said. "But he's not just a closed book. He's like a book that has a gorgeous cover, but no title, so you don't know if you wanna read it, but it looks good, so you think you want to read it, but turns out there's a lock on the book, therefore you can't anyway."

"That was very detailed, have you been thinking about that?" Peter asked. It was easy to spot the amusement in his voice. I nodded reluctantly. "Maybe you just need a new plan then."

"You could perhaps just find someone else. I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like he wants you, Remy," James said quietly.

"Good idea James, why don't we both go find someone who wants us." James has had a crush on the same girls for years. He even asked her out one time, but she turned him down.

"Oh, yeah, right."

Though a new plan sounded great. Having the secret backfired dramatically. Despite that, he might trust me just a little bit more. Which is great. I want him to have friends. I have to be careful, though. He clearly wants everything to slow down, if not even stop fully.

If I'm not careful, I might ruin everything.

.:lll:.

I was waiting for James and Peter at the front door. We had agreed to go to James's place after school "to do our homework". Which roughly translates to; I do my homework, while they do theirs for about half an hour and then play video games.

I looked at my phone to appear less awkward. You know, not doing anything. Just scrolling around, without a purpose. I looked up to see if they were coming soon, instead, I saw Sirius.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

He stopped in the middle of the hall, staring at me. He opened and closed his mouth. I continued to smile in the need of something better to do. Sirius sighed. "Hi," he said slowly and began walking again.

"He's a little weird," said Peter behind me

"But little Rem Rem here likes it, am I right?" James asked, knowing the answer.

I grinned.

James and Peter were my two best friends. I had known both of them forever. They matter more to me than anyone else in the world. I never doubted that they would help me no matter what. That's what friends are for; helping each other and make them happy.

That's what I want to be to Sirius. It doesn't seem like he has a lot of people in his life. With no friends at all in school. He doesn't even have social media.

Something about him attracted me, I wanted to get to know him. Be his friend, and if he wants to, his boyfriend. I needed him to talk to me. At this pace, we would never get together.

.:lll:.

.:lll:.

.:lll:.

Remember to review/comment, it makes me happy, and inspires me to continue :D