HIM // wolfstar

26 when we just talked

         

His fingers are so small and with no doubt the cutest one's I have ever seen.

My hands felt empty without his in mine, I might have stared just a tiny little bit very much. I thought... was I naive for thinking such thing? He made it very clear, not only letting go of my hands but also calling me his friend.

"You okay now?" he asked seriously. I nodded slowly, my brain was still blank. "Can we do the colouring thing now?" Sirius smiled and eyed the bucket I had brought.

"Uhh... yeah, sure" I managed.

"Are you sure? We can wait till another day if you like" he offered nervously.

I don't think he wanted to wait, yet I couldn't bring myself to do it right now. I don't want to hurt him or make him feel bad in any way, but right now I also need to help myself. Just for a moment.

"I'm tired actually, I didn't sleep last night" I confessed and didn't feel the need to tell why. He had probably guessed it. I laid down at the bottom of the bed and turned to face him. "Can we do something else today?"

He nodded. "Yeah, we can just do it tomorrow, or when you feel like it" he suggested, and to my surprise; he smiled. It was first now I realized he was wearing the pendant I gave him.

I offered him a little smile. "What do you wanna do?"

"I..." Sirius looked towards his desk. He picked up his wooden board, the colours I gave him and a piece of paper from there and returned to the bed. "I wanted to use the colours you gave me, but I couldn't concentrate because I was too excited about the colouring thing..." he bit his lip and eyed me.

"You wanna use them now?" I asked interestedly.

Side note. He cares about me, noticed? He hesitated when he mentioned being excited about the colouring thing because he didn't want me to feel bad about not wanting to colour the duvet. I tried very hard to keep cool, but the butterflies you know, they like to fly.

"Yeah, I have tried using the blend effect, and they are really good, though I haven't used it on a real drawing yet" he eyed the box with all the colours, and carefully choose a few. I looked at his drawing. It was a wolf with a scarf, beanie and a cup of hot cocoa in its paws. It looked different than his other drawings. I frowned. "You don't like it?" Sirius asked when he noticed.

"Oh, sorry. It's just that it looks different than usual."

He relaxed. "It's because I usually use my pen to colour and make shadows, but I'll use the coloured pencils for that now."

My mouth shaped a little 'o'. He took the colours he had picked; three different shades of green and began colouring the beanie. It amazed me how much time he used on it, maybe a half hour just on the beanie. Sirius explained to me something with light sources, and how he used the different shades to blend it all because nothing ever just has one shade.

I was surprised about how good he was even though this seemed to be the first time. He told me he had seen a lot of tutorials on his computer, and that it helped him.

"What is your... biggest inspiration?" I asked.

"Bob Ross, he is like the best artist in the world. He says anyone can be a great artist. He also taught me not to think too much about it, just paint and see what comes out of it" Sirius' eyes were shining.

"He sounds like a cool guy" I agreed. It's really nice to talk with Sirius, I'm relaxed with him. "I have an idea" I announced. He looked questioning at me. "We can make a really cool pattern on your duvet if we paint some of it today, and the rest tomorrow."

Sirius cracked a smile. "How?"

"I'll show you" I stated mysteriously and smirked before jumping up and grabbed the bucket on my way towards the bathroom. Sirius was in there not long after me. I took the shower head and began filling the bucket with water, about 3/4, then I lifted it into his room again. "Red or gold first?"

"What is best?" he sat down opposite me and looked interested at the colours I had brought.

"Gold."

"Then I choose gold" he announced and watched with interest as I poured the colour in and began stirring.

"It would be practical with another bucket, then there is less waste," I thought out loud.

In a heartbeat, Sirius was in his bed again and pressed the bottom on the wall. "Angeline will come in a bit, I bet she can get us another one..." he sat down opposite me again and stared at the bucket. "Can you please tell me what your idea is?" he folded his hands and made his best puppy eyes.

I almost gave because he is so goddamn cute. "Tomorrow" I instead answered mysteriously, Sirius pouted but quickly smiled again.

...

My heart was beating fast, like really fast, even faster than all the times I had to gather courage to talk with Sirius. Before I knew him, I had nothing to lose. I have everything to lose now. James and Peter are my very best friends.

I came to school early, hoping I could talk with them before class. When I saw them coming, I took a deep breath before walking in their direction. I know they saw me, but both of them acted as if they didn't.

"Hi" I greeted.

They can't ignore me any longer. "Hi" Peter murmured and was about to leave, but I stopped them.

"Can we talk?" I asked nervously. It hadn't occurred to me before that they might not accept my apology, though I quickly threw away the thought. We have been friends forever, of course they will. "Please" I added.

Peter nudged James in the side, he sighed. "Fine" his tone made me nervous but I still guided them towards the library. Once inside I blurted out; "I'm sorry."

James sighed again. "Remus if you are just gonna-"

"No!" I quickly said. "I... Padfoot said I could tell you everything" this seemed to catch their interest. James and Peter listened eagerly as I told them everything, about Sirius' past and why they can't come too. I didn't tell them exactly where he is, but otherwise I told them everything.

They were both speechless as I finished.

"Oh..." Peter said.

"Oh, it explains so much... Remus I'm sorry I overreacted so much-" James began but I cut him off.

"It's not your fault, and it's not only that. I shouldn't have abandoned you and be late all the time. I'm sorry too" I admitted, relieved that they understood and accepted.

"Friends again?" Peter asked hopefully.

"Friends again" James and I confirmed with a smile and we all went in for a group hug.

I'm so lucky to have Sirius, James and Peter in my life.

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//Yup that was this chapter.

Remember to tell me your thoughts :D//