RUTH❌

21. the flashback: cheer [ 2 / 2 ]

Flashback

TZUYU POV

Ruth was my neighbor.

I can never forget the day I watched their giant white van pull up into the driveway across the street as a sign that my neighborhood had just gotten new visitors.

It happened in the 6th grade for me, around Christmas time.

Her and her sister Jisoo knocked on our door and greeted my own parents with a homemade cake during the same night. I stayed upstairs and watched their sweet interaction from afar. A timid being; hesitant to meet and socialize with new people is how you would describe me in my first years of living in Korea.

Yet again the girls came around the next evening, this time it was just them and their parents. So my dad invited them all for dinner downstairs as a chance to get to know the new neighbors.

As surprising as it is to admit, that was the first day I've ever felt drawn to a girl.

The first day I felt drawn to Ruth Kim.

She had a kind of understated beauty, perhaps it was because she was so disarmingly unaware of her prettiness. Something radiated from within that rendered her irresistible to all genders. So beautiful it was like the stars themselves decided to rest upon the soft cushion of her face. 

When she smiled and laughed you couldn't help but smile along too, even if it was just on the inside.

Although, I would've hated for my parents to suspect that I was bisexual at such an age (since they are very strict about those things), nor did I want Ruth to know in my fear of rejection, so the only time I tried to talk to her was at the bus stop.

We'd only ever say hi, or talk about the weather, or ask about how our mornings have been going. But no real conversation ever happened between us in middle school.

Now that I think about it, every single new 'Hi' only made my feelings for her grow much stronger...

However I soon forgot all about my middle school crushing phase by the time high school came around...until the junior year Cheerleading tryouts.

Tryouts lasted for a whole week, and so did my uncontrolled spiraling feelings for Ruth Kim.

I tried to get her attention all the while, but it seemed like she didn't care about me at all to shut me out so easily. It stung me deep down but I had no choice except to forget about it.

Surprisingly at the end of tryouts, I made the cheer team, but an evenly skilled Ruth didn't.

She seemed very upset by this, and I wanted to comfort her so I wouldn't have to see her so bent up. Unfortunately, this ultimately led to my love confession.

I poured out my feelings to her in that same hallway, told her how much I liked her and asked her on a date and everything. I was expecting her to be at least surprised by this and to atleast appreciate it no matter if she did feel the same way or not.

But all she gave in return was a effortless shrug. She blankly said, "Do I look like a filthy lesbian to you? Grow up." Before slamming her locker and jolting away.

Old Tzuyu Chou didn't take rejection too easily back then, and grew paranoid quick that Ruth would easily tell someone about her (Old Tzuyu) embarrassing herself that day. I couldn't let that happen. So from then on, I had only one motive.

And that was payback.

Finally being a cheerleader at SHS was like being at the top of the food chain for me, where I could do anything and barely get into trouble because of the blue and yellow outfit that everyone read as H.B.I.C.