omegle • joshler

drown me.

"i should g-get going, m-my mom will be home soon." tyler frowns, looking down at josh. they sit side by side on josh's bed, flipping through the pages in tyler's book.

"no." josh pouts, closing the book and shoving his face into the crook of tyler's neck.

"hey, watch th-the pages." tyler mumbles, taking the novel in his own hands and smoothing out the paper.

josh chuckles and wraps his arms around tyler so they were officially cuddling, tyler tensing up in the process. "sorry about that. is this okay?"

his cheeks burn furiously and he furrows his eyebrows. "y-yeah, uh, i-i guess."

"i'll keep that in mind for next time. for now, i guess i'll take you home." he slowly removed his arms from tyler, who wished for them back around him.

"thank you."

josh nods. "i promised i'd get you home on time."

"n-not just for that. thank you f-for everything. i-i can't believe you did all this." tyler blushes. "i don't deserve a-any of it."

josh frowns. "stop saying that. you deserve all the good in the world, ty. you know what you don't deserve? all the shit you go through."

tyler shakes his head, sighing. "you're wrong, though."

"stop it." josh says, silencing him. "you're amazing. why do you think i'm still here with you?"

tyler shrugs.

"that's what i thought. but let's get you home, little one."

josh stands to his feet, reaching a hand out for tyler. he grabs it carefully and allows josh to pull him up. they leave through the front door and into the truck.

"i-i don't wanna go back." tyler mumbles as josh slips into the driver's seat.

"i know. i don't want you to go back either, but i promised you your parents wouldn't find out." he replies, starting the vehicle.

tyler doesn't reply but he knows he's right.

"we can hang out tomorrow after school, though. i get out at three. and i'll be sure to text you throughout the day." josh requests, checking the mirrors as he backs out of the driveway.

"i'll try."

they drive off down the streets of columbus with nothing but the sound of josh's hands drumming against the wheel. he's always finding an excuse to do that.

reaching tyler's house, the drumming stops along with the vehicle.

"i d-don't wanna go i-in there." tyler whispers, staring at his bedroom window.

"it's going to be okay." josh reassures him, somewhat not even believing his own words. "but make sure to call me if anything happens. and come here."

tyler turns to him and allows himself to be pulled into the embrace, inhaling the safe scent of his friend. it reminds him,

"oh, here's y-your sweater back-"

"keep it for tonight." josh cuts him off. "looks good on you."

tyler blushes and gently pulls at the sleeves. "okay."

they stare at each other for a little while longer.

"i should probably let you go, now." josh quietly speaks.

"y-yeah. goodnight, josh."

"goodnight, ty."

josh leans over and opens the door for him, placing another gentle kiss on his cheek while pulling back. tyler blushes again and steps out, ukulele in one hand and the other in josh's hoodie pocket. he glances up one last time as he walks into the house, recieving a smile from his friend, who patiently waits for him to walk inside.

he hears the vehicle drive off as he walks up the stairs to his empty room, sitting by the piano in the process.

"here i come, come to you, in the very clothes. that i killed, killed you in and now i know i'm alone."

the ringing in his ears forms, but he ignores it.

"i walk to you, rain falls from you. can you wash me? can you drown me?"

his fingers ache and his eyes sting with forming tears as he picks up the pace.

"i wanna be a lot of things, so much pent inside of me. i wanna be stronger, too long i've sat here undecidedly. planning strategy, half of me knows it's all just a fallacy. failing miserably, drastically, and then i crash dramatically into a wall.

i've hit a hundred times before but yet i still ignore the dark red bloodstains on the floor. and i'm back in front of you, lord with blood on the floor. is the blood mine or yours, don't wanna do this anymore.

back and forth between being me and-"

"tyler joseph!" the sudden angry voice of his mother yells.

he jumps at the sound, falling off of the stool and onto the hard ground. he groans at the aching pain, wincing at both his mom and the harsh landing.

"turn that music off right now!"

he breathes heavily, angry at himself for allowing someone to hear him. she didn't realize that is was his own voice singing, but of course he would never admit that.

it all goes silent after that, and the ringing noises are back and loud as ever. he curls himself up in a ball and leans against the wall.

"HEY TYLER."

tyler sighs and squeezes his eyes shut.

"THE SILENT TREATMENT? YOU CAN'T IGNORE ME AND YOU KNOW IT."

he stands in tyler's doorway, almost as if he were blocking his only exit. tyler eyes the excess black paint left on the door that no one else seems to notice but him.

"can you wash me? can you drown me?" he sings as quietly as possible.

"CAN'T DROWN SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY DROWNING."

he doesn't argue back. he texts josh instead.

tyler: hi

josh: hey is everything okay?

tyler: i miss u

josh: i miss u too

tyler: my thoughts are getting to me

josh: theyre not real, dont give into them okay?

tyler looks up at blurryface, making eye contact with the monster. he seems pretty real to him.

"THAT'S RIGHT. I'M STILL HERE. DON'T FORGET THAT."

blurryface starts to walk forward and tyler hides under the protective layer of josh's hoodie, squeezing his eyes and ears shut and holding on for dear life. he inhales the scent and pretends that it's the real josh.

"i-i'm so scared, josh." he whispers. "don't l-let him g-get to me t-tonight."

he stays that way for as long as he needs to. no voices, no scary thoughts. just josh.

after taking a deep breath, he peeks up from the hoodie and looks around in confusion. he's finally alone. just him and the silence.

looking down at his phone again, he relaxes for the first time in forever.

josh: ty? you okay?

tyler: yeah. im okay now.

josh: c: