Surrender.

Facing My Demons.

Flash back 4 years ago.....
I had just had a long day in the studio all I wanted was to go home and take a bath. I fumbled with my keys at the front door juggling my phone and purse in the other. Finally I opened the door. I sat down everything I had in my hand down on the counter I opened the refrigerator pulled out some fruit and water. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV.
I heard moans and groans circulating through the house. I put the TV on mute. Tianna girl don't jump to conclusions I told myself you know he likes porn. I continued walking through my house my brain telling me what my heart refused to accept. I continued to walk closer to the sound with each step closer my heart was becoming heavier and heavier. I stood at my bedroom door contemplating on whether to enter or not. I put my shaking hand on the door knob. My heart was pounding faster and faster. The thickness of the air choked me. I turned the knob as the door slowly crept open. My eyes flooded with tears at the sight laying before me. Him and her in my house in my bed. I felt my legs giving out. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. How could they the two people I trusted the most betray me like that. I couldn't take it I mustered up all the strength I had in me and ran downstairs grabbing my purse, keys and shoes I bolted out of my house. He didn't even realize I was there until he heard my tires screeching as I flew out of my drive way. I ended up at a hotel crying alone praying for death to come and relieve me from my suffering. He took so much from me that night. I was left emotionally scarred trying to heal.

Present Day.....
The twins and I were getting ready for this joint show we were about to do. It was in my hometown I haven't been home since that incident.
Larry, Laurent and I were walking to one of the bistros to get some food.
I was enjoying myself until I heard a voice behind me that stopped me in my tracks. All the anger I thought I let go came rushing back. I turned to face the two people who tormented my soul for 4 years. As hard as I tried to keep the tears from falling from my eyes I couldn't. They flooded my face and I let them run freely. It took Larry a moment to figure out why I was so emotional.
"How dare you?" I said fighting the urge to physically harm the two of them.
"Tee-Tee we-"
"Don't call me that you have no right."
"We're so sorry.'
"Sorry you're sorry that means nothing to me.You two were my life you were my man you were my best friend. You violated me in my own home. You left me broken and scarred for years"
They continued to apologize but they were together. I looked down and noticed her beautiful wedding ring. It was too much. I felt my chest tighten up. I felt like I was going to pass out. Larry and Lau had seen enough. Larry escorted me away from the situation as Lau made them leave.
"Look man tell her we are really truly  sorry."
"I non think that is enough." Laurent said as he walked away.
Larry could not stand seeing me come apart like this but I needed closure to truly move forward. We went back to the hotel and he ran me a bath. I sat in the tub crying my eyes out. Larry said nothing he just ran his fingers through my hair. I finally washed my body and threw on one of Larry's shirts. I sat outside on the balcony staring into the night. Larry came out with a blanket wrapping it around both of us. I laid my head against his chest and let his heart beat soothe me. No words were exchanged that night he just held me close to him. I let his spirit take over me giving me the peace my heart and mind needed. I was exhausted. I fell asleep in his arms. He picked me up and placed me on the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.
"Now your heart can truly heal Belle. It's time to surrender and heal " He whispered before falling asleep.