Surrender.

No Love Left.

I sat in a dark room trying to hide the tears falling down my face. I stared out at the rain. I have played the fool for the last time. I sat in that hotel room shedding the last bit of tears I had left for him.
My phone was ringing non stop. I already knew who was on the other end of the phone. He must be out of his damn mind if he thinks I want to talk or that he can explain what I witnessed with my own two eyes. When he saw I wasn't answering he began to text me non stop.
Come on Tee-Tee answer the phone.
The text said.
I continued to ignore him. It was always the same ol song and dance with him but never did I think it would be him and my best friend. He thinks that my heart is a toy. He believes that he can just keep breaking it and I'll continue to accept it. I didn't deserve this I was a good woman and was definitely way too good to him.
As the night wind howled outside the window my emotions turned cold. Fuck love I thought to myself. I laid on the bed drowning in my own sorrow my thoughts running at a rapid speed. What is it about me that is so hard to love. Maybe I'm too intense. Maybe I scare people with my take no prisoners attitude. I can't help it I love hard. I let the tears continue to fall. Never did I imagine I would feel so worthless. I gave him everything. My time, my body, my love and my fucking money it was nothing I wouldn't have given him just to make him happy. I was angry and I was bitter. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel the pain I was currently in. I jumped from the bed pacing back and forth. I had to get it together. I had to get my head out of this bad place. I grabbed my purse and my keys I walked out the door. I didn't know where I was heading but I had to go somewhere. I needed a place to start over. I called my manager as I jumped into my car. I wanted to get out of this fucking town as soon as possible there was nothing left here for me. He told me to meet him at the usual place so we can talk. I quickly drove toward what use to be my favorite restaurant that's where I first met him. I pulled into the parking lot and walked inside, my manager Jay was already sitting at our usual booth. He stood up and embraced me.
"Hey Ti what's going on."
"I need to get out of here."
"So where we going?"
"Anywhere but here." I said as tears began to well up in my eyes again.
"Damn Tianna what happened?"
"He-and she-" I couldn't even finish my sentence I was so distraught.
"Don't cry. It'll be okay." He said wrapping his arms around me.
"I-I just."
"Come on Tee you can stay with me tonight we'll figure everything out tomorrow."
That night I didn't sleep at all, the visions of him with her just kept bouncing around in my head. Tears filled my eyes again as I tried to figure out what went wrong. Why didn't he love me the way I loved him. I wiped the tears from my eyes promising myself that no one would ever have the chance to destroy my heart in this way. I'm done, I'm through with love. Imma just focus on my career I promised myself. The next morning the birds were chirping loudly and the sun was blinding. I climbed out of the bed in Jay's guest room and made a bee line for the bathroom. I turned on the water and closed the door. I undressed and stepped into steamy shower. While the water caressed my skin the tears once again stained my face. I made up my mind I had to go anywhere but here. I finished showering and got dressed. I thanked Jay for his hospitality and was heading out the door.
"Have a seat Tee-Tee." Jay said looking up from his paper.
I walked towards the kitchen and sat down.
"So where you gonna go Tee?"
"Iont know Jay but I can't stay here."
"Well I'm not gonna just let you leave with no plan girl you smarter than that."
We sat for hours talking about different places to relocate to finally I decided on Paris France."
Jay helped me get my passport and gather the paperwork I needed for a visa. Until then I stayed in the guest room in his house. Jason was always there for me he was not only my manager he was my best friend. He looked at me and said "there's only one final thing to do."
"What's that?"
"I need to put my house up for sell cause I'm coming with."