Love On the Brain (Corey Crawford)

33| Stay

Jessica

I stare at all my belongings it sat by the door of my apartment while I had this awful feeling in my chest. My whole life fit in three suitcases and could be shipped across the country easily so I can try and make a new life. The furniture stays and the rest of my stuff was all in Springfield at my parents house. But where my things were going wasn't the problem, it wasn't even that fact that I hated flying.

My problem was leaving this city, my friends and family and all the wonderful moments I created here. Leaving doesn't mean forgetting but it does mean that I can no longer make memories like those ones. This place was my life and I was supposed to just let everything go and move on without it? Forget about all the good times and expect to find this kind of happiness and success somewhere where I have nothing. And while a whole another wonderful life awaits me, I just couldn't let go of the wonderful life I had here. I was far from done here and I refuse to leave knowing that I didn't get to do what I wanted to do. I know that we can't let the fear of change scare us, but I'm not afraid of meeting the new players or trying to get them to understand me. I'm afraid that I'm giving up on something here because of that change that was coming already.

I didn't want to leave here knowing that the man I love is sitting at home missing me. I don't want to be so far from my family and the things that remind me of my dad. I don't want to give up on everything I worked my ass off for here. I made a great life and there's nothing that says that I can't stay here and enjoy the life I was able to make.

And that's why I can't leave. That's why I have to stay and help the people who need me here, like Jonny who has been begging me to work with him since he found out I was working with Corey.

So I decide to call him to see what he would say to me staying and helping him instead of leaving and helping someone else.

"Hey Jessie, I thought you were on a plane right now" he starts as he answers his phone.

"My flight isn't supposed to leave for a little while and I don't think I can get on that plane anyway" I admit.

"It's not that bad" he insists.

"It isn't, but leaving here would be" I say and the line falls silent for a second

"Wait... so you're staying" he squeals and I laugh.

"That depends. You still want a life coach" I ask.

"I would love one. Only if it's you though" he claims.

"Well if you want me to be your life coach then I think I can make you really happy" I admit.

"You're really staying" he asks again and I hear the phone start to shuffle. "You're really staying" Lindsey yells and I giggle.

"I'm staying" I smile.

"Oh that's great! I really didn't want to say anything but if you left I think we all would have been kicking ourselves about it. Have you told Corey yet" she asks.

"No. I made this decision about three seconds ago. But I'm sure he'll find out soon enough. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't stopped by yet" I admit. He said he wanted to see me before I go and I was supposed to be going.

A second later there's a knock on the door and it was Corey's knock so I know it was him, right on cue.

"Speaking of the devil" I laugh.

"Alright, well come up once you get things figured out and we can celebrate" she claims.

"I don't drink" I remind her.

"I'll celebrate for the both of us" she assures me.

"Sounds good" I admit.

I hang up and toss my phone on the couch. I quickly open up the door and I see Corey standing right behind it. He looked like he had been crying as he stares right through me with his red eyes. His appearance was disheveled and broken up and it broke my heart. He just stands there on the other side of my door frame with his cold eyes staring at me.

"Corey what-" I start but I get cut off when his lips meet mine. He pushes me into the apartment causing me to let the door go and it shuts as he pushes me against it. His fingers get tangled in my hair as he deepens the kiss to depths I have never been to before. I'm sure he can feel my heart beating against his as I melt in his arms. All these months of pent of feelings come out in one passionate kiss and I felt like I couldn't move. Like I was being restrained by my emotions.

Eventually we break apart but I keep my eyes closed for a second. When I finally open them I look up to see Corey standing over me. We both try to catch our breaths as we try to figure out what was going on.

"Corey I-" I start.

"No Jess, I have to tell you this" he insists and I stop. "I have done nothing but try to figure out what my life without you in it is like and I just can't do it. I can't think up of a life without you in it because I wouldn't be living. I know I said you should go but I can't lose you. I can't live with out you" he whispers.

"Why are you saying this now" I ask.

"Because Jessie, I love you" he says and I freeze. I already knew this but to hear it, it still shocked me. "I have for a long time and I don't want to stop loving you. There is no one in this life I trust more than you. I used to be scared of how much I liked you, how much I needed to be around you and hear your voice. If I can't look into your eyes I will surely lose my mind. I've never felt like that before, and I thought those feelings were because you were changing my life, but it was because you were becoming my life.

I wish our time together could play like a movie. I wish I could rewind to all the little moments because those are my favorite. I remember asking you why we should pay attention to the small moments in life when our lives are made up of the big ones and you said it's because of times like this where there's nothing I want more than to be able to share those little moments with you. So I found myself sitting alone wishing that I was alone with you. I just want to know you're there if I need you and I already feel better. The simple knowledge of knowing you and knowing those little things... it changed my whole life.

And now you're leaving and-" he rambles.

"I'm not leaving" I tell him and he freezes.

"Wait, what" he asks.

"A few seconds before you came over I decided to stay. And now that you're here it just proves that I'm making the right choice" I say.

"You wanted to stay because of me" he asks.

"There's a million reasons I wanted to stay, and you're half of them" I insist.

"Only half" he teases and I roll my eyes. This man, I swear. "I'm just messing with you. But I feel bad that you're not taking that job" he claims.

"There's plenty of people who can do what I can do. I'm sure they'll find someone who can get the players to open up and look inside them. Plus I have plenty of work to do around here" I admit.

"Do you have a client already" he wonders.

"I do, he lives a few floors up and wants to get rid of his serious persona" I claim and he smiles.

"Jonny" he asks.

"Jonny" I nod.

"So you're really staying, like you're not moving" he asks.

"I'm here" I assure him.

"Then in that case..." he trails off as he pulls me into his embrace again. He puts his lips back on mine and I try my hardest to control myself, but he wasn't making it easy.

"Do you remember when I said I've only been in love once" I whisper on his lips.

"Yeah" he says.

"I was talking about you" I say and he starts to smile.

"I was kind of hoping" he admits.