Love On the Brain (Corey Crawford)

50| The Story of Us

Jessica

"Freddie! Freddie leave that poor dog alone" I beg as I pull him away from another dog.

He loved going to the dog park, but not every dog here wants to be his best friend. He doesn't realize that, he wants to play with every dog here, doesn't want to leave one out. But sometimes the dogs don't want to play, like when it's pooping or trying to get a drink of water. But my dog doesn't have a off switch so a lot of the times it's me trying to get him to calm the fuck down for once.

"Come here Freddie" Corey calls and the dog backs off and runs over to him. I apologize to the owner my dog was just trying to tackle and return to Corey who had a hold of Freddie by his collar.

"Maybe we should put him in obedient school" I suggest.

"I think he's fine. He's just a lover boy" Corey claims as he gets his leash on him. He does that manly pat thing on his behind which Freddie loved almost as much as Corey did.

"I can't even handle a fur baby, I don't know how I'll ever handle a real one" I sigh.

"A real one" he asks and I stop. I didn't mean to say it but I must have said that for a reason. I just hope it's a good one.

"I mean... yeah. Don't you want a family of your own? To have people that love you no matter what and who will always be there for you. Don't you want to have a kid who looks like you and acts like you that you can raise to be a big part of someone else's lives, just as you became a big part of mine" I ask.

"I'm honestly terrified of having a child. Messing up with almost everything else is okay. And with you I know that whatever issue I have you'll help me through it. But a kid... that's different" he insists.

"I'm still going to be right by your side" I remind him.

"I know. But if I mess up with a kid, well that's harder to fix" he defends.

"A baby doesn't want you to be perfect. All a baby needs is some love, some food, and its diaper changed" I insist.

"But then it gets older and starts asking questions. Asking why do people hurt one another, asking how we met knowing I wasn't in a good place, asking why things are the way they are and I just won't have answers" he explains.

"Then that's the perfect opportunity to take a adventure and look for the answers together. Create some memories with someone that no matter what you find you will always love. And maybe you won't find the answers you were looking for, but you'll always have a amazing experience with your kid along the way" I claim.

"See... that right there. I don't have that" he says as he points at me.

"Have what" I question.

"A way whenever I come across a problem. You always know what to do, I don't" he says.

"When the time comes you will. You're very capable of being a great father. Remember at one point you didn't think you could be a good boyfriend either and you're the best. You were scared but you loved me anyway, that speaks volumes about who you are. And I know having a kid is scary, so many things can go wrong. But so many things can go right too" I insist.

"I do want a kid. I just want to be what that kid needs me to be and I don't know if I can be that" he sighs.

"You can be anything you put your mind to. And that includes being a kick ass father" I promise him.

"So... you want to have a kid with me" he smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Yes Corey. If I need to be extremely blatant, the kid would be ours" I laugh.

"How many kids do you want" he wonders.

"However many I can handle. I don't want a bunch but being a only child would suck. I would be nowhere without my brother and I want my kids to have that connection too" I explain.

"When do you want to have kids" he questions.

"Well not right now, but I'm 30. I'm not going to be young forever" I shrug.

"I think you're going to make a incredible mother. No matter how or when the baby comes, it's going to be so lucky to call you it's mom" he claims.

"So what? You want a kid with me now" I question.

"I've always wanted a family with you. There isn't another person in this world I would want to be the mother of my kids than you. But we've never really talked about it, and whenever I talk about it by myself I freak out. But now that we're talking and I'm thinking it would do a lot of good to have a family. I will love that baby without any reason more than the fact that it's my kid and that it'll be the best thing to ever happen to me" he claims.

"So what about you? When do you want kids" I question.

"Anytime really. I'll never be ready for a kid so the timing doesn't really matter too me" he admits.

"Well I'm not pregnant nor do I plan to become pregnant any time soon. But whenever we feel the time is right I say let's give it a go" I insist.

"Don't you want to get married first" he wonders.

"We don't have to. It's 2016, the unwritten rules of marriage and birth giving have be rewritten. A lot of couples don't even marry, I mean look at Jonny and Lindsey and Patrick and Amanda. Then some couples have a kid then get married. Some get married and never had kids.

This is our book of life and we hold the pen. We can write whatever we feel" I assure him.

"What are we going to write about next" he questions and I smile.

"Who knows, the possibilities are endless. All I know is I can't wait to write the story of us and one day read it to our kids."