A Dark, Forbidden Love >> TVD

thirty-one

I sat in a chair beside Stefan's bed as I gripped his hand tightly as Bonnie had informed me that he would wake back up due to the fact of he wasn't really dead. I felt betrayed by my brunette friend and Damon as he was the one that killed Stefan. I heard the lightest foot step at Stefan's door frame making me let go of my lip that was between my teeth and lightly look over my shoulder. I saw the raven haired vampire standing there staring at me.

"Go away," my voice was raspy from the lack of talking to anyone all night and from all the sobbing I did when I realized all the bad things I had done. I still wasn't done with all the emotions hitting me.

I was a bitch.

I told Stefan he meant nothing to me and if it wasn't for Bonnie quickly acting to tell me that he really wasn't dead, I would be cooped up in a room under a blanket making no contact as I wallowed in my self hatred. As I sat here with Stefan I still allowed myself to wallow in said self hatred as that was the last words I had exchanged with Stefan because I was a selfish bitch.

"You're still blaming yourself," he whispered softly as I heard his foot take one singular step into the room. I whipped around quickly, not being able to stop myself from going off on the elder vampire.

"I said go away, Damon!" In result to my outburst, he put a taken aback look on his face then frowned. It was strange to see Damon Salvatore frown, but when he knew he hurt someone and he saw that evident hurt he would normally punish himself. At this moment in time I didn't care much seeing as the only time I got this upset was when people that I care about either die or they leave me. Stefan was on the verge of dying.

I stared back at the body of my best friend in worry that he wouldn't wake back up, because for some reason something was telling me deep down that he wasn't going to wake back up. As this little voice was nagging at me that Stefan wouldn't wake up, I heard the Boarding House front door open and heard Bonnie questioning Damon. I tried to keep from running down there to get some answers from Bonnie but my newly emotional anxiety mind that was freaking out about Stefan had me rush down there.

"Bon - Bonnie," I stuttered as I fiddled with my fingers at the bottom of the steps. I must have looked a mess because when she looked over to me her angry look she had toward Damon completely changed to a sympathetic one when she saw me. Somewhere in the back of my mind another little nagging feeling tried to say her angry look toward Damon had something to do with his little brother but I more than quickly pushed that one down.

"Cassidy, you look ... " Bonnie trailed off with a small whisper tone.

"Like all of her emotions came crashing down at once?" Damon offered a finishing statement to her sentence. Bonnie gave him a glance that said shut up before walking over to me, placing either of her hands on my biceps.

"How are you - " " - I want Stefan to wake up."

Bonnie had a distraught look immediately to her face at the mention of the youngest Salvatore still being asleep or dead or whatever he was. Bonnie took a deep breath as she looked back at the eldest person in the room. For some reason this action gave me the worst feeling that he wasn't going to wake up, and without realizing it I was beginning to back up back up the stairs.

"Cassidy," my brunette friend turned her head back to me and got concerned seeing me back up. She went out to grab my hand, but I brought it behind my back for her not to touch. "Cass, um, Stefan ... Stefan isn't going to wake back up ..."

"Why not?" I looked between her and Damon frantically as I tried to stop the immediate tears that welled up in my eyes. Damon's face fell as he truly did realize how much his brother meant to me, and he let his head dangle down in guilt as it was him that caused some of this.