What do you think?
1
A police officer stops a minivan full of elderly ladies being driven by an old gentleman because they’re only going 25 mph, stopping the mid-day traffic.
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The policeman asks the driver why is he going so slow.
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“Well that’s the speed limit, isn’t it! There was a sign saying 25 and everything!” the driver defends himself.
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The policeman sighs, “No, sir, that’s the number of the highway you’re on. It has nothing to do with the speed limit.”
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“Oh, so that’s what it means…” says the driver, looking shocked.
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The officer looks at the rest of the van and notices the grannies are looking somewhat frozen and stiff.
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“What’s up with the ladies?” he asks the driver.
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“Um…” the driver scratches his head, “you see, we just got off highway 150…”
2
Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!
3
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
4
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.
5
A guy spends the night drinking in a bar.
When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up.
On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring.
In the morning, his wife sighs, 'you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven't you?'
‘How on Earth could you guess that, darling?'
'You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!'
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Jokes, Puns and Sayings
Random𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕡𝕤? 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕦𝕡? Well, welcome to the joke book! WARNING: Not all jokes belong to me. They may be repeated throughout the book. It may also contain random memes an...
