A/N personally I haven't found any of them hilarious probably because I'm too tired to laugh. Oh well, if you found it funny feel free to vote or comment.
1
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
2
Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack."
3
Teacher: "Why are you so late?"
Student: "Someone told me to go to hell."
Teacher: "Why did that make you late to class?"
Student: "I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."
4
One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."
5
Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
Vincent: “One dollar.”
Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”
6
Teacher: can you see god
student: no
teacher: can you feel god
student no
teacher: can you smell god
student: no
teacher so god isn't real
*hand goes up*
Student" can you see your brain
teacher no
student can you feel your brain
teacher no
student: can you smell your brain
teacher: no
student: so you have no brain
YOU ARE READING
Jokes, Puns and Sayings
Random𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕡𝕤? 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕦𝕡? Well, welcome to the joke book! WARNING: Not all jokes belong to me. They may be repeated throughout the book. It may also contain random memes an...
