1) I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
2) It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”
3) A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing “It’s a Small World After All.”
4) We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
5) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
6) If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
7) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
8) A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
YOU ARE READING
Jokes, Puns and Sayings
Aléatoire𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕡𝕤? 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕦𝕡? Well, welcome to the joke book! WARNING: Not all jokes belong to me. They may be repeated throughout the book. It may also contain random memes an...
