want you back | Calum Hood

Thirteen | close as strangers

Amelia's POV

I haven't really talked to Calum since the boys arrived. There wasn't much to say, well not anymore at least. He had Jade and I just had to accept it. As I approached my house, completing my morning walk, I spot Calum sitting on my porch. He sat there playing with his hands, deep in his thoughts. I couldn't help but noticed how worn down he looked. His curly hair was a mess, his eyes had no life in them, I wasn't sure what to expect.

"Calum? What are you doing?" I questioned. His headshots up in my direction. Whatever he had to say, it was bothering him a lot.

"We need to talk." He states. Calum's tensed tone sent shivers down my spine.

"What?" I questioned. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is Amelia. Luke and Ashton told me about your conversation with them. Damnit Amelia, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Calum, I was scared out of my mind. You were leaving, and I knew we weren't going to last if you got signed." I state, trying so hard to stay calm. Tears slowly started to fill my eyes as those old feelings started to resurface after I tried so hard to bury them. We both knew where his conversation was going, and it was bound to happen sooner or later

"We could've made it worked!"

"You didn't make a damn effort to talk to me for five years, what makes you think we could've made a relationship work?" I raised my voice. I shoved my way past him, I walked inside hoping we wouldn't follow, but he did.

"You sure didn't try so hard either Amelia!"

"I automatically stop trying when I feel unwanted Calum! That is a bunch of fucked-up shit you made me go through. It took me forever to get over you!"

"You didn't think it was hard for me? I built a fucking wall up around myself. Then you came and knocked it down! I spent every day thinking about you!"

"You changed! You are a totally different person to me now. I thought you were a person who could never ever hurt me. Now you have Jade."

"So this is what it's about, Jade?"

"You act so fucking surprised. At least you made a damn effort to something."

"Dammit Amelia, maybe it's because I'm not afraid of hurting her. I'm afraid of hurting you!"

"Congratulations you already did that. When you kissed me then left that was probably the most painful thing you could ever put me through Calum! You didn't fucking say goodbye!"

"Amelia-"

"No fucking stop Calum. I wasn't ready for when you left, it really wasn't my choice. All I could say was "okay", and accept the fact, nothing would be the same from that point on!"

"I couldn't control anything!"

"You could've least say goodbye! Do you even realize how hurt I was that to wake up the next morning to see that you're plane had already left!"

"I will admit I lost you from the minute I left town! And after today? I don't really fucking care what you think about me anymore Amelia." Calum shakes his head and barges out the door, slamming it behind him. I sank to the ground as hot streams of tears fell. I felt alone. In that moment a part of me died. Too much damage had been done and it was beyond repair.

It wasn't too long after Calum left when I heard my front door swing open. My body was drained, I couldn't force myself to look up to see who had entered. Next thing I knew I was engulfed in a warm embrace. An embrace that felt safe.

| F E W   H O U R S   L A T E R |

I wake up in my own bed in a complete daze. I slowly manage to wrangle up the strength to sit up. Everything felt numb. I couldn't feel anything anymore.

"Hey, you're up," Ashton says appearing in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

"Ashton, that was a shit question to ask." Luke states.

"Fuck, sorry." Ashton frowns. "We're sorry Amelia. We told Calum to go talk with you. We didn't know-"

"It's alright. We were going to have that conversation sooner or later." I choked out. "You guys don't have to stay here. I'm fine."

"We know, we just wanted to make sure you were okay. You shouldn't be alone after everything that happened today, but we'll keep our distance." Luke says understandingly. "Call us if you need anything."

"Thanks, guys," I say giving a weak smile. As they leave my sight, I sink back into my mattress. I stared off in the distance, not knowing what to think or feel. I laid there for hours, our fight replaying over and over again. All I could do is close my eyes and pray to god it was all a fucking dream.

I was quickly disturbed by someone singing outside. My window was slightly cracked open, it was the window facing Calum's room. It was his voice. 

I thought we had a place, just our place, our home base, my headspace
Was you and I always, but that phase has been phased in our place
I see it on your face, a small trace, a blank slate, we've been erased
But if we're way too faded to drive, you can stay one more night

I get a quick glance out my window. He looked like he went through hell and back. He frustratingly scribbles something down in his notebook, sings it, then would scribble another couple lines down.

I'm tired of the feud, your short fuse, my half-truths are not amused
I wish we had a clue to start new, a white moon, no residue
The color of our mood is so rude, a cold June, we're not immune
But if we're way too faded to fight, you can stay one more night

His voice was filled with pain and regret, and it killed me that I was the cause.