SEESAW

I Miss him...!

Su Mi was sitting quietly on her desk trying to read 'Newton's Laws Of Motion'. Physics wasn't her favorite subject and moreover she was missing Yoongi a lot. It had been five days since she last heard from him.

Su Mi was particularly vulnerable today. She missed having someone to talk to. The pressure of doing well at exams, not knowing what career to pursue, the feeling of loneliness creeping into her veins day by day was getting unbearable. She really needed someone right now- Her lover, a friend, anyone.

She scrolled through her phone and opened her contacts. She felt sad looking at the number of people she had on her contact list- Mom, Yoongi, Jimin, and her new library friend.

She felt sad looking at the list. How pathetic she thought to herself. I literally have no one to fall back on. She stared at the name 'Jimin' for a while and wondered if he was doing good.

Her finger on Yoongi's dial. She contemplated whether it was appropriate for her to call him. She did not want to seem very needy, clingy. She had promised she wouldn't act that way so instead, she opened her phone gallery and she kept staring at his photo.

And crazy angry thoughts started running through her mind one by one-

'Why hasn't he connected to her past few days?

What has be been doing?

Has he forgotten about her as he made new friends?

Why hasn't he messaged?

How difficult is it to just write one 'Good morning' message once you wake up?

It just takes five seconds! He cannot spare five seconds! Five seconds! For me.

I am busy he says,

Bull shit!

Maybe one good night before sleeping to let me know he is doing fine.

He could do that much right! How hard is it?'

The thoughts came coming at her and made her insides boil with rage. The distance finally seemed to take its toll.

Long distance relationship is the hardest especially for the one who gets left behind in their everyday usual life. 

She wanted to hold him, laugh at his cute smile. She craved for his touch, his presence, his scent, and his hugs. She missed going on dates, holding hands, anticipating his moves. She missed him with every cell in her body.

Perhaps he didn't miss her as much. If he cared enough, he would have called her right? If he missed her, he would have texted her. She found herself in exquisite pain again, the one you get when your body tries to detoxify itself from the drug you injected into your system to feel that high. He was constantly on her mind, no matter what she did, where she went she missed him. If she went to a restaurant and liked some dish, she'd think I have to make Yoongi eat this. He will love it. There was no escape from his thoughts.

She wrote his name on her notebook in bold letters- MIN YOONGI. Tapping the pen on the paper she continued gazing at his picture on the phone.

"Missing me, Love," Yoongi said as he stood half bent behind her keeping his head on her shoulder. He pecked her cheeks smiling.

Her heart gave a loud thump and she got up with utmost delight, turned in his direction not believing Yoongi was actually standing in front of her. Her face dripping with mixed emotions. She couldn't believe he was right there. Smiling hard but tears rolling down her face. She couldn't speak a word, her throat choked with all the emotions she felt.

It was more than six months since she had seen him. Every organ of her body missing him every day, every hour, every minute.

"Love, I am here." Yoongi extended his arms wanting her to run into them.

She couldn't move a bit. Her legs shaking in fear. For most of the time wondering if she was imagining all this.

Yoongi's heart felt heavy inside as he looked at her reaction. He knew she missed him but he never gave it a complete thought- he never thought how much. He made it seem casual outside smiling widely but on the inside, his heart cracked looking at the reaction Su Mi gave while looking at him. He was always too late to realize. Her face smiling and crying at the same time. He could feel her sadness and her pain. He felt the impact his absence had on her. 

Yoongi intended on giving Su Mi a surprise. He tiptoed into her room and saw her sitting at the study desk. Just before calling her out Yoongi paused for a second to see what she was doing. He saw her staring at his photo. His insides already crying. He saw her write down his name on the paper. She was so lost in her world, she did not even notice Yoongi standing behind her all this time.

Yoongi walked towards her and took her into his arms "Sorry" he said "Sorry for making you go through all this. Sorry for making you wait every time."

He cupped her face in his two hands and kissed her forehead. He wiped those tears with his thumbs and gently pecked her lips again. Su Mi still couldn't say anything, she kept touching his face, hands making sure she was not imagining it.

Yoongi kissed her hand. "You are not imagining it Love. I am here." He sensed it.

He took her in his arms again. She needed to calm down. 

He couldn't decide what his next words should be- I Love you or I miss you Or I am sorry or Maybe you deserve someone better.

                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi writes-

I didn't understand until this day,

I was pushing her into this black hole.

I wanted her to be happy with me.

And I was the one not around.

In her eyes today I saw 'Pure Love'

Even this universe couldn't behold.

I was the unfortunate one,

Who could not receive it every day.