SEESAW

Back To Her House...!

Yoongi, like a fool, tried calling Su Mi every day. He knew he wouldn't get through to her but he still tried anyways. "So this is how she must have felt" Yoongi thought, his heart in pain not knowing how to reach her. "So this is what I made her go through" Yoongi reflected on all his actions.

He checked his schedule, a month from now he had a few days to himself. "Yes. I will visit Daegu," he said to himself. "I will go see her at her house."

Yoongi had no courage to face her. He had no clue what would he say to her. Whether she would even let him in. But he had to, whatever came next could be dealt with. For now, he only wanted to apologize for all his ignorance and ask her for forgiveness. He became all that he said he wouldn't. He broke so many promises. 

He thought she'd move on her own eventually but seeing her at the Fan-sign, seeing her silently crumble into destruction, the disappointment in her eyes when she looked at Yoongi, everything haunted him since. He was going to say sorry a million times until she'd take him in. As what? He wasn't sure. But he just needed a part of her back in his life.

Su Mi would let him in, he was sure, and that's how she was. Forgiving. After all, she loved him.

Finally, the day came. He drove all the way to Daegu. His hands trembling with fear, anxiety dripping in the form of sweat from his face. He never felt so dehydrated and weak. He stood in front of her gate, looking back at the street. The street where she sheltered him under her umbrella. The street where they walked hand in hand every day. The house whose warmth forever lingered in his heart. He knew the passcode, but now he wasn't that person anymore who could just enter as their own. So he rang the bell and waited patiently for Su mi to open the door.

"Yes boy, who are you?" an old lady in her 70s asked as she opened the door.

Yoongi was startled at seeing a grandmother at the door.

"What do you want?" the grandmother asked him again.

"Su Mi, halmeoni. I came to see Su Mi. Is she inside?" Yoongi asked.

"Who?" grandmother gave a confused look. "I live alone here, son."

Yoongi panicked to all his senses.

"Su Mi, halmeoni. Kim Su Mi and her mother. They live here." Yoongi's voice shivered.

"Ahh, the girl. She sold the house to me and left Daegu" grandmother answered.

"Where? Where did they go? Do you have their phone numbers? Su Mi. Her mother's. Anyone?" Yoongi was still in a panic.

"Her mother. Son! Did you not know her mother passed away."

Yoongi almost fell on his knees at this. He couldn't think straight. Did she just say pass away? Yoongi could not grasp her words. This didn't happen he thought. "No!" he screamed inside. "Su Mi. Su Mi. Where is she? How is she? Did she go through this all alone? Was there anyone by her side?"

Yoongi couldn't imagine Su Mi facing this crisis all alone, the state she must have been in. She must have needed him so badly, but all this time he was such an ignorant ass.

Yoongi's eyes filled with tears, his throat dry, his body and mind cursing at him, blaming him for being so selfish.

"Where is Su mi, halmeoni? Please. Please say" Yoongi held grandmother's hand and begged on his knees to tell him.

He would go right away to her. Anywhere in this world, he would go and hug her and apologize to her a million times.

"She left son! I wish I could tell you. But she did not say anything. She left Daegu is all I know."