SEESAW

She breaks my heart!

Yoongi's head felt heavy, his gut nauseated as he tried opening his eyes.

'Hey!' a familiar voice greeted him as he struggled through slight pain.

"It will get better Yoongi-ya," she said. He smiled eyes closed, his heart content knowing she hadn't left, his worries faded, drowsy eyes searching for her in the gloomy hospital room.

As his eyes found their way to hers, he sighed. He felt light as if a ton of weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he felt free. "Hey," he said voice hoarse and throat dry. They stood silent for what seemed hours, glancing at each other, awkward smiles occasionally, and small stares. The silence is a mixture of comfort and discomfort. Either of them had to break the ice and it was Su Mi. "Your family will be here any minute, I just stayed so that you wouldn't wake up to an empty room."

Yoongi smiled wondering, this girl, despite all the bitterness of years accumulated in her heart, still made sure he didn't feel the void. Su Mi never stopped surprising him. This meant she still cared and for a moment this was enough for Yoongi.

"How are you?" he asked her, absorbing all her features, old and new ones sketched into his brain. Her face had matured so much over these years, long light brown hair suiting her fair complexion, red lipstick, and specs. Well, that was new. "Specs?" he followed immediately after. She chuckled "Yes, specs! Side effects of reading books that weigh as much as me and I am doing good, thank you."

There it was the awkward uncomfortable silence again. Years of lost communication, years of hurt and pain, years of rejection and distance screwing with the foundation they had laid to start this bond. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Su Mi-ya, Please." Yoongi slowly removed his hand from under the blanket and offered her to hold. This was a bold move, he knew. But he had to do something, anything to get her back in his life. He always knew he needed her more than she needed him. He knew it was his fault, his ambitions, and his dreams that he worshipped so much but lost the god behind it all. He needed her the same amount today as much as he needed her all those years back and his mind was going haywire thinking that may be any minute now she will walk out that door, without any warning, without a goodbye. She will vanish from his life not sparing as much a glance towards him and he'll be left miserable and lonely.

Su Mi looked at it for a few good minutes, zoned out almost in pain and then she refused. "Why?" Yoongi was vulnerable, on the verge of tears, his heart feeling the anguish more than the operation wound. "Why? Why are you running away? I have tried all these years searching for you, running behind you and I even found you once. But you left without even saying a word. We are more than that. We are more than awkward silences, we are more than permanent damage. Please tell me why do you keep pushing me away? Why do you keep disappearing on me? I want to know everything, what have I missed out in all these years, where were you? How were you? I will listen to you Su Mi-ya, I will stay this time and listen to you from dusk to dawn. I promise. So Please, please tell me! Don't push what is remaining of us. Please, I am begging you for just one chance? Please, Su Mi. Please." Tears were rolling down his eyes. He was so desperate, he was begging and he didn't care, not an ounce of his pride and dignity. If begging meant he could get Su Mi back, he'll beg all his life.

"Not now Yoongi-ya. Not now," Su Mi's voice sounded cracked and choked. As if along with Yoongi she was suffering every minute of this. "You just got out of surgery. You need to rest."

"All I need is you, baby," he said looking desperately at Su Mi. Hoping, praying she would reciprocate. Su Mi flinched at the word, her smile dropped as if she was stabbed in her gut and her face froze.

"I want to talk to you. Please. Please don't leave me this time." Yoongi had left all his self-respect. He didn't even care, if he could he would even get on his knees for this girl.