SEESAW

Why Jimin?

She saw Yoongi sitting in his bed, shoulders slumped, and cheeks wet with fresh tears curled up on himself. He looked at her with those eyes, eyes that said in some way she betrayed him. And maybe somewhere deep inside her heart, she believed she did. But mistakes or no mistakes it was time to open the box of buried feelings and discussions of who betrayed whom.

So she took a deep breath and she spoke "I am ready to talk Yoongi-ya. Ask me what it is that you want to know, anything and everything. I will answer with all my strength. But just warning you Yoongi-ya, this is not going to be easy for both of us. Your questions are gonna open old wounds and we are going to get hurt again. There is one more option though- You can leave, no questions asked, move on and forget we ever existed".

Yoongi's breath hitched. She was talking about him leaving again. How little faith did she have in him now? But he was stubborn and he was ready to get burned if that got him closer to Su Mi. So he shifted from the bed, walking towards her, held her hand and hugged her. Hugged her in a way he thought if he pressed more she'd crumble and break. But he knew his Su Mi was strong. Despite everything he did to her over the years, she came. She came on one sign of his distress, she came to soothe his aching heart. She stood in front of him ready to open her deepest hurts just to comfort Yoongi. And Yoongi was so thankful, so thankful to God who gave him this one chance to hug her and hold her close, so thankful that she loved (loves) him first. He hopes he put all his emotions in that one hug and Su Mi understood his aching heart.

"I am not leaving the baby. Not today and not ever". She flinched at the nickname.

He made her sit on the bed. He positioned a chair in front of her, took her hands in his and caressed it for a long time. Su Mi did not push away any of his advances. It was a good thing he thought. Progress.

There were so many questions and doubts hovering his mind but the one that troubled him the most was "Why Jimin?" He didn't realize he had said it out loud, but it was out now ready to be answered.

She took a deep breath "Remember your Japan wings tour Yoongi-ya".

-------------------Flashback--------------------------------------

22nd July 2016 during Wings tour Osaka.

"Please. Please. Yoongi-ya. Please pick up the phone. Do not do this to me today. Not today of all the days" Su Mi cried as she saw the paramedics take her mother towards the ambulance. She was a mess. She came home from the library to find her mother collapsed on the floor of the living room, barely breathing. She gave out a scream and ran towards her mom, shook her and begged her to open her eyes and she did, she smiled at her and pointed at a file kept on the sofa.

Su Mi ran to get the file, as she opened it, her whole world collapsed. She screamed out another cry shouting "No No No" and she called the ambulance with her shaky hands and waited. Not knowing what to do next, she called Yoongi. A hundred times. Who else did she have other than Yoongi and her mom? So she called knowing he was in Japan for the concert. She dialed his number frantically, again and again, wailing every time it went to voicemail. She tried to reach him to beg him to come home and hold her through this. One selfish wish, a wish he'd leave everything and come to her this one time.

She messaged him "Yoongi-ya, please, please don't ignore my calls. It's urgent. Call me when you see this message"

It went read but there was no reply. She panicked all the more holding her mother's head on her lap as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why us mumma. Why always us?" she sobbed as she held her mother's face.

At the hospital, Su Mi saw her mother being taken directly to an intensive care unit as she handed the file to the doctor in front of her. He looked at her as he read "So your mother has advanced stage ovarian cancer".