We have finally hit the last trimester and I swear to god Mady is so tense and anxious. She cries at least twice a day from the distress this baby is putting on her, she won't admit it to me though. I wish she would calm down and take in the pregnancy. She actually has a really big stomach right now and I can just see that she isn't enjoying the pregnancy. She hasn't gone shopping for our little girl, now that she knows the gender. We have tried house hunting but she can't get excited. I have no clue what to do to get her in the mood. I stand up off the couch and head upstairs. Mady went up there earlier after we had started talking about the baby. I suspect she was crying. I walk up to our bedroom door and listen. I hear her sniffling and quietly sobbing. My heart breaks into a million pieces at that sound. I knock lightly on the door and I hear her sniff and call out, "Come in" I open the door slowly and see her bunched hp on our bed in a ball, hugging a pillow. My first instinct is to walk over and comfort her. I sit on the bed and fix ya to where my legs are on either side of Mady and she is laying on my chest. "Mady, what's wrong?" She doesn't answer right away and after a few pauses she answers, "Honestly Kian, I'm terrified. I have to push this baby out of me. Then I have to raise her. What if I raise her wrong and she turns out a horrible person, I don't want that." I got to speak but Mady continues, "and back again with the birth, I'm terrified that's it going to hurt, the whole thing is so scary, and obviously she is going to want a sibling, which then leads to me having to get pregnant again, and I just don't k ow if I can do it" I take this in and it brings me to tears. All of this running through her head at all points in the day and only crying like 2 is some serious strength. I also hate that she is so stressed. "Honey, you are going to be a great mom, and along side me of all people. This little girl will grow up and have the biggest heart just like her momma. And you can take medicine Mads, we can get epidural so that you won't be in pain. And the sibling thing is a complete different story, for all you know, after you give birth to our little girl you want 15 more kids, you just never know sweetheart." I rub her hair and wipe the tears off her cheeks with my thumb. I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her. We end up falling asleep like this and wake up two hours later.
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"Ki, Ki, Ki, Kiaaaan" I feel someone shaking me and open my eyes to see Mady sitting on me. "I'm awake Mady" "Okay good because I made us an appointment to look at a house not too far from here and then we can go shopping for some things." I feel shocked. A little talk and a nap is all it took to excite her about this baby. After I've actually waken up and am fully aware of the situation I start laughing. My 6 almost 7 month pregnant fiancée is sitting on me. And it doesn't even bother me, she weighs nothing when she isn't pregnant so an extra 20-30 lbs is not a big deal. Apparently Mady catches on and starts laughing to. She climbs off of me and walks over to the closet to find shoes to wear. I get off the bed and walk over to the bathroom to fix my hair, then walk over to the closet and do the same thing as Mady. At six months pregnant, she looks absolutely stunning. It's the end of May so she is wearing a blush colored cold shoulder T-shirt, light-wash maternity jean capris and blush sandals. Her hair is thrown up in a messy bun and she had on some light makeup. The blush shirt goes so well against her sun kissed skin. I throw in some cans and we head out the door. We hop in the car and I turn on the air conditioning right away, it's a bit warm today, I can only imagine what it's like in LA right now. We arrive at the house 2 minutes later. It's beautiful, the exterior is brick and white, it has a huge front porch, 2 stories. The inside have carpeted and wooden floor, 2 floors and all the walls are white. The rent is right in our price limit. We grab and application and thank them for their time. We both decide that we will look at other houses if we find any but this is our first choice. When we get in the care we eagerly fill out the application form and head to the mall. We go inside Carters and JCPenny's. Mady finds 10 outfits for our little girl and a hospital outfit for herself. We found little booties for the baby and picked out a few small stuffed animals for the baby's nursery. We get back to her mom's house to find her mom sitting on the couch watching T.V. Mady rushes over and excitedly shows her mom all the clothes she bought for the baby, then the booties and then the outfit she bought for herself. We go upstairs and put the clothes away in a little suitcase that we have for the baby and any clothes we buy for her before she has a room. We head back out after an hour when we realize we are hungry, we invite Angela and Tyler. They tag along and Mady decides to sit in the backseat with her brother so her mom can sit in the front seat. She has so much respect for her mom that I can only hope our child has the same respect for her. Our dinner is filling and delicious, considering we ate Chinese. We head back home and pass out once we hit the bed. I am so glad Mady is out of her funk. She seems excited for this baby now and I couldn't be more excited for this baby.
