He was sad.
Most of the time he'll just glance through the window, glancing down at all the things he missed during his childhood.
He was lonely.
Not a single visitor, not a single person coming to visit him and ask if he was okay.
But that was norm...
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"There's no point in saving something that's already burnt with flames."
R O D E R
I lay on the single mattress, awake, waiting for my death.
Waiting for me to drive myself to the limit and kill myself or force someone to.
The only problem with the second option was, who?
No one dare stepped even step foot in this room.
Out of all the rooms of this hospital — no one visited me.
But my guesses are, no one cared or even just didn't wanted to deal with, this.
Which was understandable.
The only person that had the guts to come in here was Ms. Sage.
If it wasn't for her, I doubt the rest of staff would even come in here to feed me.
It was then that the door was kick open, my gaze turning from out through the window and at the unusual girl who I have never seen before.
But heck, who am I to talk? The only person I've seen in years or talk to was Ms. Sage.
She could've been working here for years — but I wouldn't know because I was put here to never leave, abandon by the outside world and forgotten.
She brightly smile at me as she walk in with my breakfast in a brown tray.
Pancakes, egg, a apple and orange juice.
Her body language giving off a energetic, warm hearting filling to it.
"Why are you in here?" I ask bluntly, sick of her presence already. "Everyone's forbidden in here except for Ms. Sage." My voice was cold, emotionless, as I stared at her with a blank expression but her smile was still sweet and kind.
She drop the tray down on my empty bedside table, her smile widening — "I guess I have a pass." She stated, "After all, I'm Ms. Sage's daughter." She move a strand of hair out her face.
"My name's Alazne." She held out her hand for me to shake.
I bite into my apple, glancing up at her as I said nothing.
She nod, "And your Roder?"
I nod, although I hated the name, it was one I had to stick with.
"Thanks. I got it from someone who hates me and my guts, even in his grave to this day." I grumble under my breath the last part as I glance back through the window wondering how the white subtense outside called 'snow' felt like but for as long as I remembered, I was in this hospital.
Locked away.
Mostly from the ages 15 - 17 but those were the ages I also held the most memories of.
But mostly the worst ones.
~
"Stop!" The sounds of cries fill the room, I glance at my mother who was in pain as she stare at me, the look in her eyes seem like if she regret even birthing me as she crawl away from me.
I stare at her, "Mom —" I approach her, stopping in my tracks after as the look on her face was got more terrified.
She back away from me, her own child.
"Roder, stay away — please." She cried.
~
I let in a sigh, trying to get the memory out my head, but the screams 'stop' kept playing over like a broken record unstopping.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare back at the girl.
"Aren't you going to leave?"
"Seeing that you ask nicely, nope." She sarcastically said, cheerfully smile at me before slowly approaching me, her cheerful look turning worried.
"Roder," She softly call my name which made me harshly glare at her.
"Don't fucking call me that." I spat at her, clenching my fist tightly as I try to contact it to her face but she quickly flinch back and the tight ropes contact to my bed and hands — stop me.
A tear slip down my cheek as the screams of my mother screaming 'stop' got louder.
I grip my hair tightly — trying my best to drag it out my head as I mumble the words, "Roder is a monster." Over and over so she'd get it through her thick skull and leave me alone.
