He was sad.
Most of the time he'll just glance through the window, glancing down at all the things he missed during his childhood.
He was lonely.
Not a single visitor, not a single person coming to visit him and ask if he was okay.
But that was norm...
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"I'm drowning in the sea and they asking me why I don't grow a pair of wings."
R O D E R
The ropes around my wrist and feet unravel and wasn't tight anymore.
I watch as they drop to the floor and I was finally able to move.
"Thanks." I said to the girl, glancing at my red arms, where the ropes tightly was tied on.
I sigh as I rub the red lines.
The girl's big blue eyes widen as she gasp when she saw them, "Why would my mother do that?" She ask, her eyes sparkling with concern.
"To help me stay away from a lot of things."
She give me this look, wondering what kind of things I meant but I just ignore her staring into my soul so she brush it off, not pushing it any further.
"I was wondering something..." She glance around the small hospital room.
"Don't you get tired of staying in the same place all the time? Like, don't you want to leave and go somewhere?"
If that was the case, I would.
I sigh, "I deserve to be put in here. Isolated from everyone and everything else."
My gaze finally made eye contact with her as my heart ache, "I did this to myself."
"You didn't do anything to yourself," She rest her soft, delicate hand on mine, "it's all going to pass, just wait —"
"I'm tired of waiting." I move my hand away, "I'm tired of this torture." My voice went softer as I sink into the bed, a tear quickly racing down my face as I look at the familiar white ceiling.
"I just want to give up."
My eyes loosely flutter shut as I forget all the words that the girl next to me was saying.
~
"How is he my son?" My mother whisper yell into the phone.
Her voice travel throughout the house, she thought she was whispering though.
"He's a fucking monster now." I stood behind her bedroom door listening.
She chuckle, "If I could've disown him I would've done it a long time ago." She said into the phone.
~
She was right.
No doubt about it.
Your son was a fucking monster and a fucking ass for thinking you ever loved him.
My hands begin to tremble when I lift them up, I didn't want to do it.
I glance around the room, searching for the girl that was once in here but she was gone.
I need to remember her name.
I pull a cigarette out from underneath my mattress and grab the hidden lighter which was in the tissue book.
I bring the cigarette up to my mouth, opening the lighter ready to light it — until it was snatch out of my hand.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING M—" The girl put her hand on my mouth shushing me.
She glance at the door, hoping her mother didn't hear me and walk in on any given moment.
She turn back to me after seeing her mother wasn't coming.
"Are you kidding me?" She whisper yell, "I went to the bathroom for two minutes and this is what your doing?!"
"How did you even get these in here?" She ask, throwing the lighter and cigarette in the trash.
"I have my ways" Was all I said as I shrug, trying all my best to hold back my rage.
