He was sad.
Most of the time he'll just glance through the window, glancing down at all the things he missed during his childhood.
He was lonely.
Not a single visitor, not a single person coming to visit him and ask if he was okay.
But that was norm...
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"I love you."
A L A Z N E
"Roder — Why are we here?" I ask as the limousine slowed down in the mall's parking lot.
"To shop." He simply reply.
"After all," He begin again, "You can't be wearing those same clothes over and over again."
He came closer to my ear as he move back a strand of hair, "People will notice." He whisper and I chuckle.
"But why can't I wear the clothes that I recently own?" I reply back, watching as he sit back in the seat flipping through pages of the magazine he was reading.
"Because those are parts of your old life."
I raise an eyebrow, "What if I wanted to keep my old life?"
"Because," He said, his eyes locking unto mine.
"The best way to get over a heartbreak is to start over again with a new life."
"Where did you get that from?"
He lift up the magazine, "From this."
I roll my eyes as I snatch the magazine from his hands, "Remind me to never let you read again."
Roder roll his eyes as he step out of the vehicle, helping me out as well before glancing at the mall.
"I also brought you here to pick out a dress for your mother's funeral, on me of course."
"Pick one your mother would like." He smile, "After all, she'll like to see your beautiful face one last time."
I nod, "Thank you." I whisper to him, "Thank you for everything, Roder." I said to him, tears clouding my vision as I stare at him.
He pull me into his embrace as he rock back and forth.
"It's okay." He whisper.
"It's okay to cry sometimes."
"It's okay to cry sometimes."
He stopped as he turn his head to a stranger watching us with a cringe look, "What the fuck are you looking at?!" Roder yell at him as the stranger quickly walk away, pretending he didn't see anything.
Roder gently lift up my chin to stare at him.
Wiping away my tears, he give me a kiss on my forehead.
"Cmon, lets go inside before I kill someone for not minding they business." He said, glancing around for anyone who was watching us.
I nod, smiling up at him as he intertwine our fingers together.
I didn't know what we was, but I did know I didn't want us to change for the worse but I also wanted us to be something.
Not just friends, not just close friends.
Not just people who hanged out together and make each other lives better.
I wanted to be something more.
Something that'll mean something to both of us.
I wanted to be his girlfriend, his one and only lover but I was too afraid to ask him.
Too afraid to be rejected.
I glance down at our hands which scream more then 'friends' but yet that was all we had.
Friends with a tiny chemistry.
Such as, the kiss he told me to forget.
Maybe that was his way of rejecting any relationship with me besides 'friendship'.
