He was sad.
Most of the time he'll just glance through the window, glancing down at all the things he missed during his childhood.
He was lonely.
Not a single visitor, not a single person coming to visit him and ask if he was okay.
But that was norm...
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"Memories that cut like knives. Memories that scar my life."
R O D E R
"Roder — What have you done?!" My mother ask as she panic, her eyes widen open as she back away from me.
She glance down at father's dead body then at my bloody hands.
"Roder — what happen to dad?" She ask as a tear slip down her cheek.
"Dad's dead." I responded.
She slowly nods, "I know," She whisper, "I can see that."
Her gaze found the bloodily knife that was stuck in dad's chest.
She pointed to it, "Did you do that?"
I nod, "Yes."
She gave me a, 'Are you crazy?!' look.
"Why did you do it?" She ask.
"Because I couldn't take it anymore." I respond, my gaze turning down to the red liquid.
"I was tired to getting beat." I continue on "And there was only one way to stop it." My gaze turn down to his body as he lay there in his own pool of blood.
F L A S H B A C K E N D.
I sit there on the beach; watching as the waves brush against the shore as I distract myself with the lovingly peaceful sound of the waters.
I sit there at peace; not a single negative thought running through my head for the first time.
I faintly smile, watching as people jog with they animals, watching how happy they was after one glance at they're pet.
They smile from happiness; something everyone doesn't experience after just asking for it.
It's something they had to build together; work hard on before being able to call it true happiness.
Not everyone's able to experience it with someone they hoped to though.
Some people think that just because they in love the feeling will return and they be able to do the things that they want to do with the person they think they spend they rest of their life with.
But sometimes that person doesn't feel the same way, they just want something that's there when it needs to be and doesn't want to work on anything else which makes the other person tired in the relationship.
They hold both of their burdens up, but the person who was not interested from the start just walk along elegantly while the other person struggle and beg for help to carry the weight but until that person realize that both of them weren't meant to be, the burdens disappear into relief as they let go of what was and begin thinking about what is.
They find someone who loves them for them and both of them carry the weight together, even the heaviest burdens they manage them perfectly and that was true love.
That was the kind of love some people long for.
The kind of love too rare to be replace for gold.
The kind of the love not everyone can give you.
My mind suddenly drift off to thinking about Alazne as I begin to wonder what she was doing and where she was.
The thoughts of the way she smiles at me and laughs was all I could think about.
Imagines play back and forth of all the times I spent with her and how I loved every second of them.
