He was sad.
Most of the time he'll just glance through the window, glancing down at all the things he missed during his childhood.
He was lonely.
Not a single visitor, not a single person coming to visit him and ask if he was okay.
But that was norm...
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"I want something more then friendship, I want something more then people with some stories."
R O D E R
I sit up on the sand, staring at Alazne as she waited for me to reply to her question.
Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted.
She couldn't be with someone like me yet I still wanted to wrap my arms around her and call her baby while rocking back and forth and making her smile.
The question, 'what are we' swim around in my head eating me alive.
I nervously scratch the back off my neck, her gaze stuck on me as she waited for an answer I didn't have.
"Alazne," I said after seeing how impatient she was getting.
"Forget Roder." She reply, interrupting me before I could've said anything.
She got off the sand — dusting off herself as she walk away.
I follow behind her, jogging over the sand as I catch up Alazne.
"Alazne, can we talk?"
"We already did." She respond, "You made up your decision on what you thought we were." She shrug, "Everything between us is going to change to suit those standards."
I swallow the lump in my throat and the aching feeling in my chest, trying to ignore what she said and pretend it didn't hurt my feelings.
"Alazne," I said, stopping in my tracks.
She turn around and face me, tears running down her face as she tried her best to wipe them away.
"I don't want to be only friends though." I whisper.
"But we also can't be together."
She nod, throwing on a fake smile as she stare at me and shrug, "That's fine." She turn around and continue to walk, crossing the street without looking both ways.
The thoughts in her head the only thin she could hear as they repeatedly haunt her and tease her.
A car came speeding down the road, hitting her before I could even yell the words "Wait." I watch in horror as she laid there on the floor.
Everyone stepping out of they vehicles and taking pictures as they watch in awe.
I quickly rush over to her, pushing back the sick fucks who thought that was all they could've done instead of helping her.
"Alazne," I call her name as I shake her uncontrollably, hoping she'll wake up and everything would be okay.
But she didn't wake up.
I turn to the people who just stood there taking videos, "Call the ambulance!" I yell at them, some of them flinching quickly as they dial the ambulance number.
I caress Alazne cheek as a tear slip down on her nose.
"Everything's going to be okay." I whisper softly, "Just, hold on."
"I won't let you leave me like this."
"You can't, I won't allow it."
"Your going to be okay."
"I should've never pissed you off."
"It's all my fault."
"I love you Alazne, please, just don't leave me." The words roll off my tongue, something I wasn't expecting to say.
