Austin's Baby

Sadness

The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive.

Amy and Rachel drove me home. giving me sad looks all the while.

The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive.

The only thoughts going through my head... over and over and over.

The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive. The test was positive.

Rachel looked over at me "Saying that over and over won't make it go away"

"Huh.." I didn't realize I said anything.

"Sarah just take a deep breath" Amy said stroking my head as I lay it on her lap.

"I'm scared, Amy... I'm really scared." I sobbed "I don't want to be a teen mom. I don't want to have a baby right now." 

"I know," She murmured "There are so many options for you"

Sat up from her lap "Like what" 

"Well there's, adoption, or raising the baby, or" She turned her head "Abortion"

I shuddered at the thought. "I could never do that... kill a baby" I shook my head

"Well then what about adoption?" She asked hopefully. I thought about it... giving my baby away to someone who would care for it and love it.

"Yeah your right"

We pulled up at my house, Rachel and Amy offered to sleep over but I said no. I need some time alone to think of what to do.

I walked inside and bumped into Austin "Hey sexy" He said as he pulled me into him. 

"Leave me alone please" I tried to sidestep him and tried to grab my arm but I flinched away.

"Please, Austin, please. Stop... just leave me alone" I begged him with my eyes. Trying my best not to let him see me cry.

"Sarah....." He looked at me a tried to reach out for me but I took a step back. His hand dropped to his side.

I ran up the stairs and straight to my room I collapsed on the bed not wanting to move ever again. I thought about how I screwed up my life so much because I was being stupid. 

"My life is ruined" I thought as a darkness spread over me.

I slept through the night and sunday also.

Monday Morning

"Sarah!" I heard my mom say from the other side of the door. She walked in and sat by bed. Touch my forehead like she yesterday. "Are you feeling ok, baby girl?" She asked looking really worried.

"Mom I feel like crap" I muttered

"Can I get you anything? Food? Water? A magazine? Anything?" 

"I'm good.. I'll call you if I need anything." She nodded and left for work. The week passed the same way.. i didn't leave that bed to eat, drink or do anything. I just took a shower when I needed to.

Sunday Morning 

I run to the bathroom and throw up the bit of food I had in my stomach. I walked out of the bathroom ready to go back to bed. 

"Sarah.." I looked at Jake 

"What?" I snapped

"Sarah, are you ok? You haven't left your room in a week and you look like death.."

"Thanks, bro" I spat before I went to my bed and got in.

Later on that night

I don't have any reason to live anymore. I should end my life... no one wants me. No one will EVER want me. I'm having a baby and I don't know what do.

There is one thing that I have thought about for a while... I grabbed the razor from under my bed and walked to the bathroom. I filled the tub and got in... mhmmm the water was warm.

I took the razor and grabbed my left wrist cutting deeply and watching the blood drip from my hand. I cut the right one and watched as the water started to change color.

"Ooooh pretty" I giggled. The bathroom started to blur and turn to nothing. Everything began to shift and the walls turned to air. "Sarah!" i heard a voice on the other side of the door. "Sarah!" I heard the voice with more urgency this time.

"Wharght" I said slowly

"Sarah! Whats wrong! Open the door" Silence. 

'Finally I can now die in piece' I thought

The door smashed open and I looked straight into the eyes of Austin Sanders.

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