The Rock Star's Babysitter - A Slash Fanfiction

Chapter 11 - Agony

"What? Perla you can't be for real!" Slash sunk down, sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the wall, his expression full of shock.

"I've been cheating on you! We can't be together!"

"I knew it! Who were you with in Hawaii?!" The guitarist's tone turned accusatory.

"None of your business!"

"Perla I think it is my goddamn business! Who were you cheating on me with?" His voice came out in a low growl, sounding surprisingly calm despite the rage and panic that was rising up in him.

"I'm not telling you anything!"

"Fine! Then just... tell me why you did it..." Slash ran a hand through his curls, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, his tone softening as his voice wavered in sudden devastation.

"I'm just not happy with you. I don't love you anymore Slash."

Those words shattered his heart.

"How could it just change so quick I don't understand! Perla tell me what's wrong we can fix it, we don't need to get divorced! I don't want to put the kids through that!"

On the other end of the phone, Perla was shaking her head. "Slash I've been unhappy for a while, you have been so busy and just got back from tour and I just couldn't help thinking that it was better while you were gone. That I'm happier when you were away."

The guitarist stayed silent, holding the phone farther away from his ear so that Perla wouldn't hear his sobs.

"Slash are you okay?"

"No I'm not fucking okay!"

Perla continued a little gentler. "I'm coming home next weekend to get the papers and my stuff. You'll have to sign them so that we can officially get divorced."

Slash took a shaky breath in. How could this be happening?

"Okay." He agreed numbly.

"Goodbye then, Slash."

"Goodbye. I-" He cut himself off before he could say 'goodbye I love you' out of habit.

She hung up the phone on him and Slash heard the dial tone in his ear. She was completely gone.

Did four years of marriage mean nothing to her?

Was he worthless?

What did the new guy have that he didn't?

Did Perla ever love him, or was it just for money?

He knew their marriage was basically over when she'd left that note in the kitchen about a month ago. But he didn't want to believe it. A month wasn't enough time for him to be over her, and sue him for actually loving her with all his heart.

The world started spinning as his breathing sped up and his brain just came up with more and more questions. The guitarist took a deep breath in to quell the panic and the overthinking that threatened to control him.

In all other areas of his life he was so calm, so collected. Perla was the one person he had let in enough to truly be hurt by her.

"God fucking damn it." He sighed, tears still falling from his eyes. He wiped them away roughly with his wrist, he had to be strong for the boys, especially since Perla seemed to care more about how this was affecting her than her two young sons.

Maybe he should play guitar?

Perla never loved how much time he spent playing guitar, she always thought it took his attention off of her.

He opened the door to the studio, stepping inside and picking a Les Paul to play.

"Fuck her, because now I can play guitar all I want. And go on tour whenever I want. Is this what it's like not to be tied down again?" He muttered to himself while plugging in his amp.

Good thing this room was mostly soundproof because he wouldn't want to wake the boys.

He started by playing the tunes of his younger days, reminiscing about Guns with Jen earlier that day made him miss his youth.

He started the deep and rough intro to Rocket Queen, getting addicted to the groove, then slowed it down with some November Rain and finally ended by playing the beginning of patience on an acoustic guitar and breaking down in tears from the soft melody.

If only Perla could have just a little patience. He sighed, wondering if there was anything he did wrong, anything he could have possibly done to fix it.

He replayed everything that he could remember about her actions starting from when he got back from tour a couple months ago.

She seemed perfectly happy! Every little thing he could think of about his own actions, he reflected on. He analyzed it all while letting his hands play the familiar guitar part of Patience that he didn't even need to think about to execute.

Moonlight spilled in through the small window in the top of the room.

He put his hair back in a ponytail, beginning to noodle around and create a random riff to take his mind off of everything. There wasn't anything he could see that he had done wrong.

That thought just made it worse.

It would have been better if, at some point, he had fucked up, done something that would have made this whole thing a little less sudden.

He saw a tear drip onto the top of his guitar. Soon more followed, speckling the wood until his vision was blurred. Slash realized that it was now time for him to put it away and go to bed.

He wished that he could call someone, but now it was one in the morning, and no one was up.

He wished Jen was, or that it was appropriate to call her, but he didn't want to burden her or fuck up whatever thing they had going.

He wished that Izzy or Duff was up. But he figured they probably weren't.

Slash fell asleep by himself, wishing that Perla was there beside him.

He'd never felt so alone in his life.

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Deep authors note for once: This is exactly what happened with me and my ex boyfriend a bit ago, he just called me up one day and dumped me after four years of dating for another girl. Writing this helped me heal a little knowing that my character is going through the same thing. The reactions that Slash had are exactly what I went through. The emotions and the reactions are real, so I hope I captured them vividly. The sadness, the shock, insecurity, then the anger and back to sadness. Writing is truly a beautiful thing. Thanks for reading, thank you for letting me express everything I need to. Further down the line, there will be another few scenes that are also inspired by that past relationship. When I started this fic I had no idea it would have so many parallels to my life. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest, have a good day guys :)