Nearly Broken

Chapter 18 - Fate

I awoke to a banging on my door. My eyes flew open and I searched for the noise. It was still pitch black outside, so I knew I hadn't slept long. The clock read 4:36.

I made my way to the door and opened it, only to be greeted by an empty hallway. No light shown down it and it kind of creeped me out.

"Hello?" I whispered to the nothingness.

No answer. Maybe I imagined the noise. Just as I was about to shut the door, a light turned on in the other room.

Nash's silhouette appeared at the end of the hallway. His hair was sticking up in all directions and his arms were crossed. I hoped I hadn't woken him up.

"What's wrong?" He asked while closing the distance between us.

His features were hidden in the dark, but i could sense him smile as he was close to me.

His sudden closeness caused my mind to go blank for a few moments. "Oh um. H-how long have you been up? Did you make that banging noise?"

"Oh i dont sleep much. Haven't fallen asleep yet... I have a lot on my mind. The sound you heard was probably me searching for a glass." He confessed.

"I haven't slept much either. I had just fallen asleep actually." I told him as i turned my light to a dim setting. My eyes adjusted to the new source of light and I looked at Nash's face.

He looked as if he was biting his tongue. I could tell he wanted to say something, but was probably afraid of my answer.

"What is it?" I bluntly asked.

He seemed shocked at first, but quickly recovered. "You can read me like a book."

"I guess." I mumbled, not willing to accept the feelings we obviously had for each other.

"I was wondering if I- if you wanted me to stay in here. Maybe you just need to know you're safe." He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"How could I be safe laying with a Pernicious?" I stated rudely.

"I won't hurt you. Don't you think if I really wanted you dead then you wouldn't be here, but six feet under!" His defensive tone caused me to take a step backwards.

He registered that he had frightened me and his face softened. He wrapped me in an awkward hug. My arms remained at my side until he released me. I turned and walked towards the bed, hoping he'd take a hint and leave. But he was persistent and instead of retreating, he spun me around.

"I wish I had never met you. I hate it; this feeling I get when I'm around you. Something changed when I saved your life that day in the ally. I never believed in the cliché 'love at first sight' stuff, until that day." Nash sighed as he sat on the bed and continued to explain why he can't leave me alone. I stood between his legs and he held both my hands in his.

"Verona, I know you hate what I am. I would do anything to be a human, but you must remember that it wasn't a choice I made. We all have things in this crazy world that we can't control. You can't control the weather or wars or the Sun and moon. It's impossible to control the ocean waves or make the stars move. And Verona, I can't control my feelings for you; if i could then you wouldn't be here. I hate that you hate me, because every time you give me those ice cold glares, my heart breaks into pieces." He stared into my eyes, as if he thought he could break this barrier that separated us.

I looked at him. I could feel the blood rush to my face and I turned my head to look anywhere other than his face. His thumbs gently stroked the back of my hand and he took cool, calm breaths. He was patient as he waited for my response.

After a few moments of silence he sighed, yet again, and got up from the bed. He shoved his way pass me and made it to the door when I grabbed his wrist.

'What the hell am I doing?'

"Wait, Nash." I heard my voice say as my hand still gripped his wrist. He turned towards me and waited for me to finally speak.

"Stay." My mouth formed the word, but i didn't remember thinking about the word. It was as if my body was disconnected from my brain.

His eyes lit up at my words, but he didn't move his feet any. He had a smirk playing on his lips as if he knew I would ask him to stay. His feet took a small step out of the door.

"No, maybe I should leave. You obviously hate my guts." He teased.

"Nash! Please? This house is unfamiliar and it scares me. I haven't had a good night sleep in weeks! Please stay. I don't hate you... I - I just can't do this feelings thing!" I finally burst. It had been a long couple of months and my mind had been a pile of mush since I've met Nash. I haven't felt feelings for anyone since that awful night I lost everyone I cared about.

"What do you mean?" He'd turned to face me and his hands were resting on my waist.

"I'm broken and I'm afraid to let anyone in, because they'll leave eventually. Whether it's by choice or not." As much as I hated it, a small tear escaped and ran down my cheek.

"Verona..." His voice was weaker. He eloped me in a hug and i buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"I won't let you go. I understand what it's like to lose everything and I can't stand loosing you. Which is crazy, because I don't know you that well. That's how badly I lov-" He stopped. His mouth snapped shut as he realized what he almost admitted.

"I'll stay with you, if you really want me to." He surrendered.

We laid on the bed and I rested my head on his chest. We didn't speak for the rest of the night. Our minds were trying to take in what we had both admitted tonight.

I felt like some kind of weight was lifted off my shoulder when Nash said he wouldn't leave. Not that he necessarily wouldn't leave, but that he felt he can't leave. This whole thing confused me. What had Nash said earlier? His explanation of our confusing scenario.

'Fate.'