Irreplaceable || KkuChaen

Sakura's life

Sakura POV

H-hi yes I am Miyawaki Sakura who is one of the popular girls at 48high. Its been one month since I have started my senior life. Well i actually didnt understand why people are fanning over me. I mean I am just an ordinary high school student.

Most people would be really jealous of me because I am smart and pretty. This is actually what people think of me, it is not what I think of myself. The only thing I agree on with others is that, I have a great girlfriend, Lee Chaeyeon. We have been dating more than 5 years now, she has always been great toward me, she is way too perfect. Chaeyeon is smart, caring, well-mannered she is just perfect that I wonder if I even deserved her? Maybe she deserved someone better than me.

Beside all of these, people think that I am living a well off life because I am smart, pretty, has a great girlfriend and lastly I earned a quiet alot of money during my school years. But people never know the behind story of life, I am living with my dear mother. I am both sorry and thankful toward her because she has to plays both roles of mom and dad. She has always been a great parent, beside having a gambling, thief brother, who is my uncle.

My uncle is a gamble, he has been addicted to gambling for the past 5 years because his business went bankrupt. He would always come to my mom to ask for money and sometimes even making loan using my mother's name and making me pay all of his debts. Last 2 years, because of his addiction toward game, he steals so much money from other and got arrested to jail for 2 years, that was the best 2 years of my entire life. But that wont last long as my uncle is being released last week and he is still the same, gambling.

That is just a small part of my life, there are still more to go. Lately, my life have become so devastated, I need to focus on my study since this is my last school year and I have to get in to great university. While focusing on my study, I also have to spare my time on my advertisement, photoshoot, model, and some time a small fan sign too because I have to pay off my uncle debts. More than that, those crazy fans and stalkers just wont let me breathe, I got scared and nervous every second of my daily life. 

The only great thing that happens in my life is Lee Chaeyeon, the only person who could cheer me up when I am down. But due to my stress plus the pressure that I am receiving lately, I caused too much troubles for her. I feel really bad when ever she is trying to make me feel up even though she herself is not in a good conditions at all.

Due to the depress feeling, stress and pressure am receiving, I asked her to give me space and she did. Our relationship become really distance because of me, we didnt text, talk, video call much like before. Even we dont talk much but I can see that, she is still care about me alot I meant more than before because she knew that I am having a hard time. She would always feel sorry that she couldnt be there for me, but its not, because i was the one who want to have space this way.

I love Chaeyeon so much that I dont want her to get hurt because of me, I dont want to see her sad. The only way to prevent all of these is for me to let her go, I am not sure if this is the right decision or not because i still love her so much, much more than I can say but am causing too much problems for her. Someone better than me should deserve her, not someone who only causing her trouble. Now I am not sure, if i should let go of her hand or to grab it harder.

To be continued......