A Lesbian Love Story

22

My heart was racing as I walked up the front steps of my house. I glanced over my shoulder down the street to see Amber's car parked in front of Tess' house. She was closer to my house though. Was I really about to face my mother? I had no idea what I would do. What she would do. I turned back around and rang the doorbell. I stood patiently. Maybe Zac would open the door and my mother would be out of the house. The door opened. My mother stood there. I could see the anger in her face.

"Get in this fucking house now!" She snapped.

"No." I didn't move a muscle.

"Get inside!" She shouted.

"I'm gay mom." I spoke calmly.

"You shouldn't be! You're gonna marry a man! You will never marry another girl!" She took a step out the door.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You loved me until I was ten. Then you stopped. I didn't realize I was a lesbian back then. So what changed to make you love me one day and hate me the next?" I said. She didn't say anything.

"Get in this fucking house now I won't say it again." She snapped.

"You're a fucking alcoholic! I told dad you were getting drunk every night and he almost left you for it! That's why you started hating me! That's why you beat me! Because dad took alcohol away from you. You could only drink when you earned money for it without him knowing. You're not really a homophobe! You're just a fucking alcoholic!" I was shouting at her. At the women who beat me for seven years. Who hated me for seven years. Who wanted me dead for seven years.

"Gay marriage is wrong." That's all she said. And she said it quietly.

"You're a fucking alcoholic who hits me because of it! You don't realize how horribly you ruined my life! Remember when I was hospitalized with a gash in my arm on my fifteenth birthday? I fucking tried to kill myself! You drove me to do that! I didn't cut myself on a nail after falling off my skateboard!" I pull my jacket off and showed her my arms. "You made me fucking do this. Over a fucking drink." She had no words. Her eyes were glassy. I broke her. "Admit it. You're not a homophobe." She walked into the house and shut the door behind her. I pulled my jacket back on and walked down the steps. I walked to Amber and we kept waking back to her car.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I broke my abusive alcoholic non-homophobic mother." I said. She stopped walking.

"Jordan." I stopped and turned back. "She's not a homophobe? What?"

"She faked it. When I was ten I found her drinking alcohol in her office. A shit ton of it. My dad came home from 'Stan the next day and I ratted her out to him. They argued and my dad said next time he found out she was drinking he would leave her and take me and my brother. When my parents first met my mom was a recovery alcoholic and she was sober from the time she was pregnant with Zac until I caught her drinking. She hated me for it. So she beat me for that. Then she found out I was a lesbian and started using it as an excuse." I said.

"Seriously? That's fucked up." She said.

"Yep." I kept walking. Amber followed me. "So I showed her my cuts and told her she was the cause of my suicide attempts and cutting." She was speechless.

"Wow." Amber was shocked.

"How about we go back to your place, have some fun and then go to your softball game?" I asked.

"And after?" She asked.

"We have sex if you lose." I grinned.

"Oh come on! What if we win? Brewer sucks." She says.

"So does Hartwell!" I replied.

"Our team isn't that bad! You only went to one game!" She exclaimed.

"And I was high and you guys were beat." I grinned.

"Stop doing things high!" She said.

"I can't help it. It's fun." I replied. She rolled her eyes as we got into her car. She started it and began driving down the road.

"How bad of a hangover do you have right now?" Amber asked.

"Well I managed to yell at an alcoholic about her addiction while being hungover without her noticing and I haven't puked so I'm good." I said.

"You puked like twice last night." She said.

"Really? I just remember the one time." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You passed out shortly after the first time I think you were still unconscious the second time." Amber said.

"Dammit." I looked out the window. I saw Amber glance at me out of the corner of my eye.

"What?" She asked.

"Puking fucks up my liver or some shit. It's already been fucked up from when I was purging a ton. It was a couple years ago. Like one, or two." I explained.

"Don't you dare purge." She said.

"I don't." I replied.

"Alright. So I have to take my SATs this sunday, but I wanna cram in some more study time Friday and Saturday." She said.

"SATs?" I looked at her.

"You didn't schedule yours, did you?" She looked at me as she stopped at a stop sign.

"No. I haven't done any college applications yet either." I said.

"Why not?" She asked. I looked away and shrugged.

"Kinda wanna follow in my dad's footsteps." I muttered as I looked at my hand and picked at my nail.

"What?" She asked.

"I wanna be a marine." I looked at her. She sighed.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yep." I replied.

"Well I've been looking at some college for theater. I wanna be an actress. I wanted to be in the school play because I can't with cheer and softball." She said. I nodded.

"Are we gonna be alright?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"If you become a famous actress and I'm a marine. We gonna be alright?" I asked. She sighed.

"I have no idea. Worst case scenario we have to break up for a few years." Amber said. We both stayed quiet.

"Let's not worry about this now." I said.

"Yep." Amber continued driving down the road. I was hoping we wouldn't have to break up. It would be one of the worst things to happen to me.

----------------------A/N-----------------------
I wrote this whole chapter in one sitting r y'all proud of me. i'm proud of me. Y'all should check out my dream book. i don't have much else to say about this.