A Lesbian Love Story

9

One week later

I laid on my couch crying, laying against Zac. Mom was in the chair crying. Our dad was killed two days ago. April 23rd, 2017. His funeral will be in a week. I haven't talked to Amber since I got the news he died, which was earlier today. I got up and blew my nose. I walked back into the living room and laid down.

"Jordan, go to your room. I don't want to hear a damn peep out of you all night." Mom said, drying her tears off her face. She picked up her wine glass and took a sip. Dad's gone for good so now mom can be even more of a bitch to me. I got up and went upstairs. I grabbed my phone and saw I had a few texts and missed calls from Amber. I turned my phone off and hid it under my pillow. I laid down and pat Rico while he slept. I sniffled. I can't believe he's gone. I talked to him the day before he died and now he's gone.

I finished cleaning the bathrooms after mom yelled at me all day to do her chores and shit. When I finished, I walked out and washed my hands.

"Bathrooms are finished. Now can I please go hang out with my friends?" I asked.

"No. Get in your rooms and don't come out." She snapped. I sighed and walked upstairs. I turned my phone back on and opened up Amber's texts.

Amber:
Hey

You wanna hang out later?

I'll take that as a no.

Thanks for the answer babe.

Seriously?

Alright thanks babe you haven't talked to me in 24 hours.

The last text she sent was sent 5 minutes ago. Shit. She's pissed at me. I heard footsteps and I hid my phone. I turned on my side and sniffled. The door opened. Zac walked in.

"Jordan." He whispered. "I know you're up. Mom went to a bar. You can stop pretending to be asleep. I heard you crying." He said. I looked over at him.

"This isn't fucking fair!" I shouted as I sat up sobbing. Zac walked over and sat beside me. He pulled me into a bear hug.

"It isn't fair. But we need to stay strong. Dad wouldn't want us sitting home crying all the time. You know what he'd say." Zac comforted as he released me.

"Miller's don't fucking cry, so get your ass off the ground and kept fucking going." We both said in unison. I grinned when we both finished speaking. Dad was a man of few words, but those few words were powerful. Zac took my hand and slipped something cold and metal into it. I opened my hand to see dad's dog tags. I looked at him.

"Why me?" I asked.

"I got his knives and watch." Zac said.

"What about mom?" I asked.

"Uniform. Badges and flag are in the living room." Zac said. I nodded.

"Why does she hate me?" I asked.

"Because she knows you're lesbian..." He looked at me like it's the most obvious thing ever.

"How do you know she knows?" I asked. I told Zac months ago. I also told my dad months ago. My dad gave me a sugar cookie with rainbow frosting. I reluctantly ate it because I thought it was cute.

"Dude. Your notebook is always falling out of your bag. And mom found out you didn't go to the skatepark with Oliver and Shawn a few weeks ago. She called Shawn's mom once you left and she said Shawn was grounded." He said. I sighed and mumbled under my breathe. I heard my phone ding and pulled it out.

Amber:
Seriously? What happened to you promising you'd always text back within 5 hours. You're reading and not answering and that's like a stab to the gut. What did I do to you?
If I don't hear back from you soon, then we're done.

I unlocked my phone and opened the text messages and started typing. Then my phone died.

"FUCK I NEED A PHONE CORD!" I shouted. I jumped up and look for mine. I left it at Amber's. FUCK. I shoved Zac out of the way and ran into his room. His cord is nowhere to be seen. "FUCK!" I shouted as I ran downstairs. Mom walked inside. Oh fuck.

"Jordan Elizabeth Miller what do you think you're doing!" She slurred.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I..." I couldn't think of anything.

"That's what I thought. Phone. Now." She held a hand out. I sighed and put it in her hand. There goes the only way for me to reach out to the one girl I loved more than anything. I sadly headed upstairs. "Did I say you could go? No. Get back here." She said. I turned and walked towards her. "You're grounded until you go back to school. No phone, no hanging out with friends, no bullshit. Go to bed."

"But mom!"

"You brought this onto yourself." She said. I groaned as I walk upstairs. I went into my room and laid on my bed. I cried as I cuddled Rico. I'm such a fucking dumbass. I should've told Amber that I wasn't going to be able to talk for a few days, or be in school. Maybe she'll find out in school tomorrow or Friday. My mother does have to call school to say Zac and I were going to be out because we were mourning the loss of our father. Maybe Cody would stop by to check on me and I'd tell him and he would tell Amber. But I doubt it. He knew my dad was leaving, and he knows how much my mother hates him. Maybe Zac would lend me his phone to tell Cody. But then Cody would end up telling Amber and I would have to talk to Amber for a while and Zac would get impatient with me for using his phone. Fuck. I was stuck with no way out.