My head throbs at all the thoughts revolving around. Yet, no ones around. Those who say to be with me eventually show their true colors. It hurts I won't lie but, I'll get through this like always. Even, if my ability to trust goes down even more than it already is. My head throbs with the memories of you, of us.... Everything you said to me I wonder if it was all a lie. I wonder if what you think of me is even true all the "Advice" you told me, was that true? I don't know if I'll find out but, if I do I don't know what my reaction will be. I might expect whatever you say, I'm used to people saying this about me all the time... what would the difference be this time...
You don't know how what you do affects me. You don't know what goes throughout my head. You make fun of me, you say things that hurt in so many ways. You always tease me because i'm not exactly skinny and you "offer" me food yet, then later you tease me about what I ate and how much I ate. Now days I can hardly eat, I can hardly sleep, I can hardly speak, I can't really focus anymore, and my mind and body feel numb most of the time. You'll never see how all the things you do affect me, you might see it in a joking matter but even if you're joking it still hurts. My mind spins from all the thoughts that swirl in my mind, all the things that are said. Flashbacks of things done and said go throughout my mind and take control. I don't know if they'll ever leave or if i'll ever be able to ignore them. I get dizzy from lacking sleep and other things but, nobody knows the toll everything takes on me. My body can take punches and kicks, my mind can take all the verbal abuse, and my emotions can be haywire but, how long does it take for things to come apart and get completely destroyed...
