Reading, music, and drawing those are the things that calm me down or, help me when I'm all alone with my feelings and thought. Even if I'm surrounded by people not many know me or talk to me so, I'm technically alone whether I like it or not. So, I need something to distract myself with from all these thoughts in my head that swirl around waiting 'till I fall into the trap they have to keep me suffering. Suffering because there are some very dangerous thoughts that sometimes try very hard to get to me but I just try to avoid them as much as possible. Do you ever feel like you're surrounded yet alone, well that's how I feel most of the time because I am near people yet they don't seem to see me like I'm not there. Or when you finally have the guts to try and make a conversation but, end up making a fool out of yourself because you thought they would actually want to make a conversation with you but they won't. Or when you see someone walk up to you and thought they were actually interested in talking with you but, they only wanted to ask you for something so you got your hopes up for nothing. So, you slowly learn that you have yourself and it shouldn't matter what others think/say about you because you are your own person and what matters is yourself and if others don't care about you than you do, and you might also care about others but, only because they deserve it...
