His Deepest Downfall

Chapter 16 - Saddest Words

Luke POV

Katatapos lang ng 3pm class ko.

At heto ako lonely as ever be.

Napailing na lamang ako.

Marami akong assignments na gagawin. Iyon na lamang ang pagtutuunan ko ng pansin.

Naputol ang pagmumuni-muni ko ng tumunog ang phone ko.

~Vanila Twilight Playing~

Hindi ko muna sinagot.

Trip ko ang ringtone ko eih.

Pero sinagot ko din naman baka kasi importante.

"Hello? Who's this?" Unregistered number kasi ang tumawag.

May narinig akong bumuntong hininga sa kabilang linya.

"Hello?" Ulit ko.

"Umm.. Luke?"

Silence

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"Luke? Si Sarah to."

Tumikhim muna ako kasi pakiramdam ko nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

"Sarah." tangi ko lamang na nasabi.

"Can I see you? I mean can we meet? Uhmm.. I just need to talk to you."

Natawa ako. "Yeah. Better late than never even though this talk is already overdue."

"Hmm. Is it my fault?"

"Kinda. Where will we meet?"

"Can we meet at the park or in the front beach?"

"Front beach will do, I'll just grab some fishball, do you want some?"

"Sure. Thanks."

"See you in a minute" and I ended our call.

What do I feel?

It is really confirmed.
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Sarah's POV

It takes too much courage just to call him.

And it takes two times more now that I am about to see him.

I don't know kung hampas pa ba ng alon ang naririnig ko or ang puso ko na ito.

I can't take another step to move forward.

He's there.

Standing all alone with fishball on his hands.

I bitterly smile.

It's not like we're having a date.

We're here to have our overdue talk.

Yeah.. Over.

"Sarah?" Napansin nya na ako.

I don't know kung anong nararandaman nya na nakita nya ako ngayon.

I can't read his face expression.

He's giving me a just plane innocently poker face.

"Earth to Sarah?" aniya while waving his hands in front of my face.

Napakurap-kurap ako.

"Sorry. Just kinda appreciate the view of the sea."

Napailing ito. At itinuro ang upuang yari sa kahoy.

"So? What's this talk all about? Break up talk late edition?"

Napatawa naman ako. "Kanino ka natutong mag joke? So corny naman."

"Just killing the awkwardness."

Bigla kaming natahimik..

"Luke." pagsisimula ko. "I actually want to talk about us. I mean, I needed this talk. I want us to have a proper closure."

Huminga sya ng malalim. "Yeah. We need it."

Bigla ulit umiral ang katahimikan.

"What happen? Why did you choose to break up with me? Didn't you love me enough?"

Anong klaseng tanong ba to?

Biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko.

"I love you." tatlong salita pa lang pero kumawala na ang mga taksil kong luha.

" I love you too much that I can't help it. I believe that I showered you so much love." Humikbi ako.
"Sobrang mahal kita but for you its not enough.

I am not enough for your love Luke." Napahagulhol na ako.

Ngayon ko lang ilalabas lahat ng sama ng loob ko.

Habang sya ay tahimik lang.

"I'm sorry." unang salita na narinig ko sa kanya. "Hindi ko sinasadyang masaktan ka."

"I can't control my feelings kasi naging mapaghanap pa rin ako."

"May kasalanan din ako kasi ipinilit ko rin ang feelings ko sayo."

Napayuko sya. "We fell so hard, noh?"

Kahit naiiyak ako ay natawa ako sa sinabi nya.

"Indeed"

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

Ano nga ba ang tumatakbo sa isip nya?

"Did you regret falling in love with me?"

Tinitigan ko sya. "No. Why would I regret having something what I really want for a long time? And until now I still want it to."

"You love me that bad."

"You've been my crush for a long time so natural lang yun."

"Why so gwapo, Luke Marcus?" Sabi nya sa sarili nya.

Napakahangin.

GGSS??

Natahimik ulit kami.

Napahawak ako sa mga tuhod ko

"You know being in love with you is something worth remembering kahit alam mo na. Sandali lang ang mga panahon na may tayo." tiningnan ko sya sa mata.

"Naisip ko rin na sana pala hindi kita hiniwalayan na sana nakuntento na lamang ako sa anong klaseng pagmamahal ang kaya mong ibigay. But like you, naging mapaghanap din ako. Thats why misunderstanding occurs within out relationship."

Nagsimula ulit na tumulo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"You know what hurts the most than losing you is that you're not fighting to keep me. You just let me slip away like you don't love me."

Inabutan nya ako ng panyo dahil hindi maampat ang pag-iyak ko.

"I did." bigla nyang sabi. "Maybe for you its not enough but for me its all I can give for a moment. I really did love you, Sarah. I really did."

Hindi ko na marinig ang paghaguhol ko pero ang pagkawasak ng puso ko, yun ang dinig na dinig ko.

Hearing his words is like stabbing my heart like theres no tomorrow.

He really did love me.

He did.

But now he doesn't.

Sarah... You get the suicide closure that you wanted.