dialogue

you called

i was moving on

i still missed him

i thought about him often, how he was doing

sometimes i'd imagine if we would bump into each other, hoping we would

the world bringing us together somehow, being in the right place or right time

but then i thought of choice

how each time i called he wouldn't answer

and no longer am i mad

but i refuse to devote time to that

or i am trying to make it my mission to stop feeding this vicious cycle

so i let go, i sent love and light every time i thought of you, lingered a little, and then moved on

sometimes you come up in conversation, unintentionally of course

some customer asked me where you were, why was i always associated with you

our favorite coworker asked about you, i said i didn't know and truly i didn't 

i wasn't angry or sad, just unattached to the idea of you

and i was free, just reminiscing about the past because that's what i do 

i wanted to keep my memory of you like that and move you to my past

i wanted it to be untouchable

but then you called

you called and pointed things out in me because you know me, i know you know me

our banter was natural

you were affectionate

and once again it was like we never stopped

but it irritated me that you expect me to do the heavy lifting when i'm the busier one

and i couldn't keep pouring myself into you without getting any back

so i cut myself off, hoping to let you go

but you called

you called.

asked me when i was coming over

asked for a kiss over the phone

told me you missed me

called me poop endearingly

and instead of the homework that i told you i was going to do, i'm here writing this about you