Oikawa X Reader

34.

I stand at the door of the doctors office, watching the patients shuffle in and out of the narrow hallway, nurses close behind them, watching closely. A couple of the nurses glance in my direction, but don't bother stopping to ask anything.

I sigh quietly to myself, still trying to build the courage to go into the office. My eyes wander to the clock to my left, I was supposed to go in there ten minutes ago, but I just can't do it. I roll my eyes, and tuck a few stray hairs behind my ear. I step towards the door, opening it and closing it softly behind me as I walk inside. My doctor sits at her desk impatiently, a kind smile plastered on her face as she prompts me to sit.

"How are you feeling today Ms.(L/N)?" She asks cheerfully.

I give her a shrug, as she looks down at the notes before her, taking a deep inhale as quietly as she can.

"I called you in today so we could talk about your condition," she nods, not looking up towards me for a moment.

I shift in my seat uncomfortably, as she finally meets my gaze. Her smile falls for a fraction of a second before she continues.

"Unfortunately we don't think treatment will be effective considering how severe your condition is," she nods again, "I'm so sorry I can't help you."

I look to my hands which are placed in my lap, quivering slightly. I run them along my pant leg, soothing myself.

"Anything else?" I ask, not looking up at her again.

"No ma'am." She mumbles, "I'll see you again soon so we can talk about your options."

I get up too quickly, my head spinning as I head towards the door. I rush out of the hospital, onto the street, the wind whipping my hair around wildly. I stare out at the cars moving past, wondering how many of the drivers looked in my direction and if they wondered what I was doing looking so lost, and so lonely.

I start walking towards Seiji's school, deciding to pull him out early, before I give it a second thought.

When I finally make it to the short concrete building, I'm nearly crying. I bite my lip hard, focusing on the pressure pooling there for a moment, before releasing and taking a long inhale. I pull the door open, and step inside the familiar hallway, it's walls lined with finger paintings, the smooth tile floors reflecting the overhead lights upwards to my gaze. My eyes remain glued to the floor momentarily, as I make my way towards the office doors, knowing that soon I'll have Seiji wrapped between my arms, pulled against my chest as tight as I can.

"I need to take my son Seiji home," I explain to the woman seated behind the quaint desk, clicking her pen erratically. She simply nods as she gazes at her computer screen, her eyes not lingering on mine brimming with tears. I'm grateful for her oblivious nature, because I'm sure I wouldn't make it through the explanation.

"It seems he's not here," she murmurs, "His Father came and got him twenty minutes ago."

"Oh," I say almost inaudibly.

"It says he's approved to pick him up, is he not?" She asks suddenly, concerned she may be at fault.

"It's fine," I breathe, "Thank you."

I dig my nails into my arm as I exit the building, before removing my phone from my pocket and dialing Tooru.

"Hey there," he answers, his voice soothing me instantly.

"Where are you?" I ask quickly, "And why did you take Seiji out of daycare?"

"I got out of practice early," he explains, "I didn't see the harm in picking him up, it's only daycare after all-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demand, my voice sounding shakier than I'd anticipated.

"I didn't think it was too important, I was picking him up today anyways (Y/N)," he tells me, his voice still calm and level, "I'm sorry."

"Where are you?" I ask again, shaking my head firmly as I stand on the street aimlessly.

"Home, is everything alright?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "I'll be there soon."

"I love you."

"I love you too," I murmur into the phone, swallowing past the lump in my throat.

•••

I open the front door, and slip off my shoes before heading towards the voices coming from the kitchen, my feet carrying me quickly over the soft carpet.

The two brunettes are seated at the kitchen table eating, yet as I enter they turn in my direction, their faces lighting up as they see me, causing my heart to ache.

I embrace Seiji first, pulling him close to me, as he buries his head into the crook of my neck, laughing gently.

"Love you Mom," he says softly, as I squeeze just a little tighter, not wanting to let go just yet.

"I love you Seiji," I reply, taking a sigh as he squirms out of my grasp, and back into his seat at the table.

I turn to Tooru next, my arms finding his, as I place my head on his chest silently, and his hand falls onto my back, rubbing gently as I turn up to face him. He looks downward, his lips forming a smile too tempting to resist.

I bring my lips to his suddenly, allowing myself to be consumed by the feeling of being with him yet again, hoping he can save me from the sinking feeling growing in my stomach. I cling to him, and the false security he gives me, wondering if I believe in it enough, if it will actually save me.

A/N: Sorry it's been a minute, life got complicated. But I miss writing, so I'm back for now.  The chapters kinda weak but I'll update again tomorrow, I just finished this one quickly so I could give you guys something to read in the meantime.