"From the ashes, we shall rise"
WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT , VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED
The second book of the tainted series, it can NOT be read as a stand-alone.
Did ya miss me?! Sorry for not uploading, Uh, depression can take your best joy sometimes. I hope you enjoy though, I worked HARD on this one to get it out.
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"I don't understand." My head shook as I turned away from Erica, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. "You have to be lying, it is no way this is possible."
Suddenly it felt like it was hard to breath in this damn room, and everything was a lot more constricted that it I felt enclosed in these walls.
What the hell did that mean? There is no way she was right about it, because it would mean I've spent years being torn apart and blamed for something as major as death on my own damn father. Someone I ever regret hurting for my reckless drinking, there was no way she was telling me the truth about this. And for no reason.
"Ryder, I think you should try and sit down— you look a little pale." She rushes around the bed, quickly gripping my should to sit me down on the mattress.
My mind tried replaying back that moment I was in the car, driving fast down a dark road after experiencing a horrific moment with my cousin and some guy that she knew for a price.
There was nothing I felt more in that moment other than sadness, and pure anger which —ended up with me accelerating on something I had thought was an empty road. And just being so under the influence, that I passed out at the wheel. And after that, I can't remember much afterwards.
"Are you certain this happened?" I asked suddenly, looking at her with a pleading look on my face. "Please tell me, you may have gotten it mixed up."
She looked at me sadly before shaking her head, which made me sob once again for that night. "Ryder, I'm sorry - I know you might be upset with me about it, but there was always a time when your mom told me to drop it. Please don't be angry with me." The sound of her voice desperate, as she rushed out the words.
Part of me wanted to be angry but this wasn't her fault, after graduation I isolated myself from everybody. There was no use in being mad at someone who didn't cause the pain, it was not our fight that needed to be done with each other; My anger belonged rightfully to my mother, who knew that I possibly didn't do anything.
Which seemed absolutely crazy to me, there isn't a possibility that happened. But what did I know? Everything she's ever told me as been a lie, I couldn't trust my own mother. Being used as her pawn and blaming me, if this was true meant that she was willing to make me feel like I had an issue when it was really her.
"I'm not mad at you, Erica. Honestly, if this is true I wish you would've told me, but how could you if I was shutting everyone out?"
That was my biggest regret, feeling like I couldn't talk to anybody and cutting off people who had my best intentions at heart. That only made me feel worse about myself, realizing I didn't have anyone besides her and a couple of other people who wouldn't lie to me about stuff.
