Immortal Lovers {Run 2}

19. To Feel Nothing

Rosie

I stood alone in the kitchen staring distantly ahead of myself. My arms were wrapped around myself, but it gave me no comfort. I had been shut out of my husband's life and left to pick up the pieces. Despite all of that, I knew I couldn't show how I was really feeling. With my daughter in mind, I took a deep breath and made my way up the stairs.

Grace was sat in the rocking chair with Kayla in her arms, rocking her gently. Our eyes met across the silent room and we exchanged a concerned glance to each other. Grace slowly stood up and Kayla whimpered and clung onto her tightly. Each noise in the room caused Kayla to jump and sob. I helped Grace slowly lower Kayla into her cot and silently creep out of the room. Every muscle was tense in my body as I made my way downstairs and into the living room.

"Hey," Grace said once the living room door was shut. "You look upset."

I turned around and sighed. "I'm worried about Kayla."

"So you think she's developing her senses?" Grace asked.

I nodded and sat down on the sofa. "She has no control over them yet. Every small noise can sound so much louder to her. It must be horrible. Harry and I had the strength to control our senses and the sounds around us. Kayla's too young to do that."

Grace put a hand on my knee. "She's strong, Rosie. Soon enough she'll be able to manage her abilities."

"It could drive her insane," I murmured.

My shoulders were gripped tightly and my body twisted towards Grace. "We won't let that happen. We're going to do everything in our power to make this as comfortable for her as possible. She has what we all didn't: a family. She's loved and she's safe."

Our eyes met and I was reassured for a moment that things would be okay. I wanted to tell Harry about Kayla and have him hold us both, promising to be there for us. Quickly, reality hit and I was reminded of the truth once again. Harry wasn't there for us. And I had no idea where he was.

*****

Harry

I sat on the cliff edge, watching my legs sway softly back and forth just like I used to with my dad. I wanted to know why he would bring me here as a child, a place where he found another man abuse the woman he loved. Was it a sick game to him? Or a way to replace the bad memories with good ones. My dad used to say he sat here as a child himself. It was a place he'd bring my mum, to talk or lie on the grass together. Then Samuel came in and tried to ruin that for him. Maybe my dad didn't want to let him.

I shook my head as if trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. I knew that a part of me came here to be found by Luke or Rosie. The minutes went by and I was still alone, so my thoughts became my only company.

I had been shut off from my own father and now I had done the same to Rosie. My destructive path continued, hurting the few people around me that cared. I told Rosie that I would never keep things from her, but this was different. It wasn't just the monster under my skin that was controlling me. It was the demons in my head that shut off all my emotions and left me numb. As I stared out at the view in front of me, all I could hear were my own harmful thoughts and the feeling of worthlessness that overcame me. I had been mourning a man who hated me and hating a man I should have been mourning. Now all I had was anger towards my naivety and innocence. I watched as Samuel had been dragged away by Louis, grateful that I never had to see that man again, when instead I should have saved him. I let my own father die in the hands of another. He was a man who didn't have control over the creature that he was, just like me.

My body slowly fell back onto the grass. I barely blinked as all the energy in my body washed away. Simply living was too much effort. Being a father, a husband, a brother was all too overwhelming, but I had no choice but to carry on. Living was my only option.